Birth of the Phoenix
by spopococ
Summary: A life, crumbled, broken, and battered, takes a single moment to burst to flames and fall to the Earth. With a realisation of meaning, the phoenix arises from the debris and rebuilds from the ashes once more. Rufus/Tseng yaoi. PART ONE OF TWO COMPLETE.
1. Shot

You know what? First Person is kinda fun to write! xD

Ok, so in this one, it's our Royal Vice President's view on everything, throughout the entire chapter. Next chapter, it'll be Tseng, and alternating again. Um, enjoy? lol.

**WARNINGS:**

I should tell you now, just in case you read through the first two chapters as happy as a pig in crap and get to the third unawares, this one has quite a few warnings.

**Yaoi based storyline-** Basically means that this is a 'when boy meets boy' kind of story. Don't like it? Meh, don't read it.

**Language-** Yes, English... as well as quite a lot of um... 'slang' words. I pretty much cuss my ass off. xD

**Mentions of suicide-** Self explanatory, yeah?

**Hurt/Abuse-** I seem to have at LEAST a little in all of my stories, so you should have expected this.

**Graphic Violence-** Chapter Four is the biggie in this one. I actually shocked myself with it's content. O.o You should be ok, but if you really are very queasy, then maybe this isn't for you.

**Racial Remarks-** I thought I'd put this here. There's nothing really that major I don't think, but I wanted to build some hate towards a particular character, so just a heads up.

I never mean to offend, so sorry if I do. -hugs-

_Chapter 1_

_-Rufus' introduction-_

_It's strange isn't it, how a single threat of death can alter the rest of your life? How that one moment can influence you, and those around you, in a way that nobody was expecting or planned for? I was raised for this world as a hardened leader, and I came close to dying one, far before my time. Perhaps I had never truly lived to begin with... That was, until the very walls I'd spent years building, crashed around me at the mercy of of a gentle voice, and a reassuring hand through my hair... I am Rufus Shinra, and this is my story. _

--

Something about the air had been unsettling. There was a certain feeling of an inevitable terror about to unfold, and knowing my current position, this had unsettled me greatly. I was right to be unsettled though, I know that now. It had happened in a timeframe of no more than a minute. I'd told my father on several occassions about the Turk suspicions of a terrorist uprising. Yet, whilst he sat in his office and drank his vodka, he sent me out to make a public appearance to build the empire's 'personal' status. We'd been driving down the strip roads of Junon when it happened. Those ridiculous side streets connecting to the barracks along the road had left a clear opening for my attempted assassin to make his move. And that he did. The shots rang clear mere seconds after the Turks had realised the danger. Had I not been pushed out of the way of a majority of the gunfire, I may not even be here now. The lights are so bright, as they rush me along this blindingly bright and crowded hallway. Perhaps it wasn't usually as crowded as it is now, though, with the Turks and several first class SOLDIERs crowding around my stretcher...

"Where the fuck is security?!" A figure hissed through a medical mask as he pushed a bystander aside and flicked frantic eyes around the room. We kept turning, and it seemed to me like it was a continuing circular path. A feeling was rising within my chest, even past the burning pain, as the faces around me lined with concern and confusion. I was reluctant to see it as what I assumed it was. Fear...

Fear was an unfamiliar emotion within my life. The last time I recalled feeling it was when my mother was ill, and she began withering away before my eyes. Perhaps it was because I had thought then, that she would die. Like I think I will now... My stomach hurts so badly... It burns like nothing I've ever felt before, and I considered for a moment a conversation Reno and Rude had held over a new type of bullet. It pierced the skin and burst, leaving traces of reactive mako in the blood stream. No, no... fear was not an option... That was what I was raised upon, and it's what will be needed to efficiently run this company after my father's passing. Fear is _not _an option... Then why is it that this feeling won't dissipate? Why is my heart beating so fast? Why can't my eyes focus on the one thing for more than a moment? My throat is dry, my eyes are burning, my chest is tight. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to pull out of this, and oh God what will happen if there is no Shinra heir? My father, what would my father do? Oh God, and Reno, who would look after Reno as he looks after me? No one could do it like I can. He's like a brother to me and nobody could _understand _him like I do. What if I die with this same pain in my heart, in my abdomen, through every confine of my body, as I lie bleeding on a table and...

"You're in the best medical hands on the planet sir. I would not panic in the slightest. We'll be helping to pull you out of this for a full recovery..."

Who was that? The voice was calming, soothing, and as a shadow fell over me, I tried to turn my head to face my reassurance.

"Lie still sir... We'll still be here when you wake up..." The voice said calmly, and the simple reassurance reverberated through me. I needed to thank him, whoever he was. My chest was easing, and in turn, the pain was ebbing away. I needed to thank him...

I opened my mouth to tell him of my gratitude, yet all that I managed to produce was a small gurgle, increasing my frustration at my current condition, and worstening my battle against this newly confronted emotion. Fear was _not _an option, God damn it... Yet, I was terrified... I don't want to die... I don't want to... wait... no... no no no... I'm _crying_... A gentle touch was on my hair now, wiping away strands as we continued moving, always moving. I was being petted, like some kind of a wounded animal. Yet, there was nothing shameful about the soothing touch. There was no degradation at all. Only reassurance.

"Commander, you'll have to get your men to leave the operating theatre. We can't work in these conditions!" Came the demanding hiss of a medical official, as the hand upon my head was removed.

"You heard him..." Came the reassuring reply, as my head spun, and I reached into the air, clutching desperately and unashamedly, even as tears streamed down my face. Ha... if my father could see me now... A hand clutched at mine and gave it a gentle squeeze, as we stopped moving, and the petting of my hair resumed.

"Commander, you'll have to le-"

"I'm not leaving. I've removed the rest of my team, but on the president's order, I am not to leave the boy's side..." It was the reassuring voice, as the hand squeezed mine a little tighter, an iciness slipping into the warm tone.

"Then please, Commander, give us a little more room to move... We need to put him under..." The masked figure urged, and the guardian by my side moved to stand behind me. Commander? Removed the rest of his team? Surely it couldn't be... A mask was upon my face now, and a gas filled the plastic casing, as I continued to watch the movement around me. Commander... of the Turks? Was this Tseng? I had never once met the Turk leader, and yet my father spoke nothing but the highest praise for the man rumoured to be 'terrifyingly beautiful' within battle. What did that even mean? The terrifying part was a given. He was a Turk. But how could anything of battle be both terrifying and beautiful? The other Turks very occassionally spoke lewdly of their Commander, comparing his beauty to that of an ethereal being. I was yet to determine this for myself, even as I strained my neck to try and meet his gaze. But I was getting tired. I was getting really really...

--

I don't know which came first. The heat, the pain, or the panic. In any case, I sat bolt upright, a cry trapped in my throat, before a firm hand was pressed against my chest and forced me to lie back down. I made to speak again, but my throat was dry.

"Would you like some water, sir?" Came the smooth fluent voice from earlier. I turned my head to the side with some effort, and was mesmerized at the sight. God, if this was Tseng, then his reputation certainly was not an overstatement... I managed to nod, and he poured me a glass, a curtain of ebony hair sweeping across the pale and flawless skin of his chiseled face. Whoever carved such perfection had taken very much care to do so... He reached then, handing me the glass, and I almost dropped it there and then. His eyes were incredible. They were soft yet sharp, dark, yet full of energy, and they smiled in sync with his thin lips. I dragged my gaze away though. Gods, what am I doing? This kind of misconduct wasn't allowed to even be considered... The water was almost painfully cold as I took a drink from the glass and set it upon the bedside table. I coughed a little, and was curious to see if it had worked at all.

"...Commander Tseng?" I said simply, and he nodded.

"Vice President Shinra, it is a pleasure to finally meet you in the flesh..." He smiled softly, and it became easier to forget about the searing pain through every pore of my body.

"...Same..."

"Although I am sure you would have prefered the circumstances to be different..." He said, a small smile licking at his expression. I said nothing. I wasn't sure if I was exactly lost for words, but the mere presence of this person before me was severely messing with my head.

"...You're not with... my father?" My voice croaked, disobeying my every desire to appear in the position of power I was born to hold. I felt inferior, weak, and useless for the first time in my adult life, and it bothered me further that this figure was seeing me like this...

"There are others to mind him. He has concerns that your hitman might show up to try and finish the job..." Tseng said somewhat darkly, and a sudden realisation rang through me. Others to mind him... other Turks...

"Reno!" I choked, sitting upright again. What had happened to the redhead? He was right there beside me in the vehicle, and he had shielded me against any further damage. Was he... God no, the thought was almost unbearable... What would I tell his mother if he had died protecting me? She had always been a loving and cautious woman, and had finished every letter she'd written the Turk with a plea for him to be careful... How could I possibly explain that her charismatic baby boy wouldn't reply to a solitary letter of hers ever again? A firm, yet gentle hand pressed once again against my shoulders and eased me to lie down.

"Reno is recovering well... He suffered quite a lot of damage, admittedly, but he is healing almost as fast as you, sir... He seems almost as stubborn to die as he is with everything else..." Tseng reassured with a calming, knowing smile, and I turned to my bedside table. Some relief, at least. He was alive, and I hadn't been the cause of an untimely death. Wait... Where was my pager? My EMR? My cell phone? Tseng reached out long thin fingers, and opened up the drawer, pulling out my cell phone and handing it to me, a gentle smile on his lips.

"I understand sir... You've been here for three days so far. Do you remember what happened?"

Like it was yesterday... The searing pain that burst through at intervals was a clear and constant reminder, and my face must have shown it, as Tseng nodded slightly.

"...I was... shot..."

"Yes sir... The bullet used was unique, to say the least. You have mild mako blood poisoning. It shall take a few more days before you can leave here, and then you are being put in my care, sir..."

Did I just hear that right? Being put in his care? If my father had ordered me to be placed in his care...

"Officially... placed in your care?"

"Yes Sir. I guess that means we should get a little more acquainted..." Tseng said softly, those beautiful eyelashes falling across his eyes as he blinked, "As it seems we will be quite the inseperable pair..."

The mental images that one small statement brought...

Being placed in his care though? That was a permanent situation. Tseng would, in terms of employment, belong to me. I was surprised, more than anything, that my father would make such a sacrifice. He must have had doubts about finding a suitable heir if I were to pass on.

"...What did you call my father... Commander?"

"Harold, sir... He permitted me nothing else..."

Ha... that is so like you old man... They're the people who are expected to give their lives for you, to sacrifice their all, and you don't even grace them with your real name...

"... My first name is fine also then... May I call you Tseng?"

I watched him as he listened to me with such an intensity that I held my breath. He gazed right into my eyes when I spoke, and I swear that he saw through everything I had ever tried to build myself to be. The lies of the happy family my father and I played, the abuse we hid from the world, the fountain of knowledge and opinion that had been forcefully held back by my father's wishes... It was nothing short of haunting, and yet I couldn't break that probing gaze... He then smiled, a beautiful display of neat white teeth, as he nodded.

"Of course, Rufus..."

Oh God, the sound of that roll across his tongue... It unwillingly set off the chain reaction of me kicking myself internally. What the fuck am I doing? I'm to become the head of a multi-billion gil company, and I am falling head first into a lust-filled obsession of this being before me. I'm somewhat reluctant to call him a person, as it would undermine everything that is perfectly sculpted onto this... God... Already, should a situation ever require me to do so, I was now facing uncertainty of what I should do if he were to leave...

"If I'm placed... in your care... I presume that means that you'll also... be moving into my office?"

"Yes Rufus... Try not to speak too much. You're not doing yourself any good by it, and we'll have plenty of time for questions..." He smiled softly again, and my own damn mouth betrayed me by smiling back. He was snaking his way in, breaking down those hard built barriers, and it hadn't even been an hour... All I could recall was that gentle petting of my hair, and the realisation that for once in my life, someone was _caring_ about my welfare...

--

These bandages were a hindrance, to say the least. A medical practioner (What was her name? Rosie?) came in to my apartment twice a day to change them and monitor my mako poisoning, although I doubted it would have made much of a difference. I had read the books on it. Mako poisoning went away of it's own accord, and most of the time bore little difficulty after the first few days. Some sharp bursts of pain and a general nauseous feeling was to be expected, but the burning sensation of the blood had dissipated, and I was demanding paper work from Tseng. The Turk had been sitting at the desk in my room tirelessly for the past four days, filling out a majority of my paperwork and keeping me company. He was a quiet figure, and I was glad for that, giving me plenty of opportunity to watch him as he worked. He'd caught me twice so far, as I'd shamefully stared at his furrowed brow and curtain of ebony locks, whilst he concentrated on his work.

"Are you alright, Vice President?" He'd asked, not looking up from his papers, and smiled slightly. My reply had been the same both times, claiming that I must have zoned out, and he seemed to have brought it. Fraternizing with employees was definetly a big cross on my father's list, although it didn't seem to stop him after my mother had died. I'd overheard Reno speak of some sort of a relationship between my father and Scarlet, and it was certainly a believeable prospect, to say the least. She was nothing short of a hussy, that woman, and although she felt safe and secure now, it would take a lot for me to keep her when I inherited the company. Her high and mighty attitude was far less than appreciated, and the authority my father had given her over both SOLDIER and the Turks as part of her weapon development, was frowned upon by many. Tseng had been one to voice his concern over the matter, and I had agreed whole heartedly. Whatever kind of relations she had with my father had been manipulative, and the bag of hormones that he was had been unable to see it. Yes, there would be plenty of changes, and I was only certain of two things remaining as they were. The Turks would remain at Shinra alongside myself, and I would ask Tseng for me to remain in his care. I'd been in his company for a little over a week now, spending almost full eighteen hour days with him, and was becoming a little ashamed at how attached I had become. He was quiet, yes, but he was able to hold a conversation if he felt the desire to do so, and he was nothing short of the perfect gentleman. It unsettled me a little, that he was so calm and gentile around me, although I knew he was a trained assassin.

I'd learnt a lot from and about him already, and it had proven useful information almost instantly. For instance, he let me drink nothing but water and pure blend Wutainese tea whilst I was healing. He'd handed me a cup and listed the ingredients and their healing qualities. I was a skeptic, but I can almost swear it's been working... The things I loved most to learn were the things about him that his personal file would never provide. The fact that he had painted landscape pictures for money as a teenager, or that his great grandmother had a hand in the recipe of the infamous Banora Apple Juice. He had a pet chocobo up until he was seven, named Sunao, too, which was probably why he had such a fondness for the poster on my bedroom wall. Being a Turk had not been his first preference of a job either, which never surprised me. None of them ever particularly _wanted _the job, they simply ended up here through cirucmstance. It had been my favourite tale to listen to, however, and I'd sat captivated as he continued to write and told me everything. I wondered if he told the story often, as it was somewhat painful for me to hear. Surely it was hard for him to tell...

"I'd been brought to Shinra as part of the COW plan with my mother..." He'd begun, and I'd frozen almost immediately. The COW, or Children Of Wutai plan, was an idea spawned from my father's mind, and the idea had horrified me. We'd captured over two thousand Wutaian women and children, and brought them back to Shinra to escape the war, but with a hidden motive. My father had intended to breed out the Wutaian genes in Midgar and effectively pretend that Wutainese culture had not existed. In my eyes, it was Genocide of the most subtle kind. With no Wutaian men to breed with, the 'imported' women would only be able to create cross-bred children. By the time the 'imported' children had grown, they were to have been seperated and spread across the world to have children with other non-Wutainese citizens. My father treated them as cargo, and it had disgusted me.

"I apologise, Tseng..." I'd interrupted, and a look of surprise flittered across his face.

"Apologise?"

"For what my father had done to you. I had never been a supporter of the COW plans..."

"Wutai was a harsh place to be during a war, Rufus... Despite your father's alterior motives, I was still bought to a sanctuary. If I had have remained in Wutai, I would have been forced to become a soldier, and I would have been killed or relocated anyway as a slave..." He'd replied, as he'd looked up from his work and shook his head, "No, I owe Shinra my life, and you will find many of my kind who feel the same."

The guilt panged through me either way, but I chose not to show it.

"Is that why you became a Turk?" I asked, a subtle change of subject, and he shook his head.

"No. My mother had become ill with tuberculosis and died when I was 14. I was still too young to work in Midgar, and so ended up having to steal for money and food, and ended up being found by a Turk member of the time. I'd put up a decent fight, and put my skills of self-taught combat into practice, but had still ended up being caught. Being reluctant to kill me, he had offered me a choice. I could join the Turks and earn money and a place to live, or I could be thrown back on the streets and killed next time I was caught stealing. Who would say no to such an offer?"

Tseng had smiled briefly then, and ran his fingers lightly through his hair.

"So, I began training immediately, and the Turk who had rescued me recommended me to your father directly. I was accepted with little debate..."

The stories such as those had always held me captivated to the Turk. He'd had a life of excitement, of adventure, of experience. As for myself, I had nothing but a life of books, abuse and meetings. I couldn't recall ever having children to play with or much company at all other than the Turks themselves. The first game I had learnt had been a training procedure for Turk entrance. I had thrived with a thirst of knowledge and power, and had known little else other than that.

"Tseng?" I asked, and those darkly lashed eyes looked up from his papers.

"Yes?"

"Did you have any childhood friends? Ones that really stood out to you?"

He looked saddened by the question, and I thought that perhaps I had asked something a little too personal, before he nodded silently.

"Yes. I'd had ten that I spent almost every day with. School friends..."

School. I'd always wondered what an experience that must have been also. I'd asked my tutor once, and she'd smiled rather sadly, explaining that it was nothing all that special. It might have been true. A program on television that I'd watched a few times, highlighted the school children across the world and what made their schools special. My father had ordered the program to be made to boost exchange student percentages, apparently. Every child often said that they thought certain aspects of their school were 'awesome', but very few said that they enjoyed school as a whole.

"What happened to them?"

"My school friends?" Tseng asked, and I nodded, "We were all moved to Midgar. A few are married and have families. Most of them work in the sector four slums."

"Do you speak to them often?"

"I can not afford to... For their own saftey as much as mine... Many of them are not aware I am a Turk, and there will always be select groups of Wutaian people who are bitter towards this company..."

"Do you miss them?"

"At times, yes..."

I'd never stopped to think of how deep the war had ruined the lives of its people, with my father constantly pressing the image of a happy Wutaian villager sowing grain by a mako reactor into my mind. It was a false hope for all parties involved, but it had seemed achievable in my eyes. Now Tseng, the person who had come to mean so much in my eyes so quickly, was sitting across my room and speaking of his life and how my very family had harmed it.

"I have a family within my Turks now..." Tseng said quietly, and I returned my gaze to meet his. My puzzlement must have shown, as he smiled softly and shook his head.

"Many people lose friends over their lifetimes. Most of them remain with their family however. My job might have lost me a few friends that I would probably have grown apart from anyway, but it provided me with family that I'll never lose. I have no regrets from being at Shinra, and neither should you, sir..."

'Sir'. He still called me sir more often than not, and I was unsure whether he had had that drilled into him during Turk training, or he used it as a way of seeing whether I paid attention or not. I smiled slightly, as I usually did upon thinking of it and sighed.

"Rufus, Tseng. Call me Rufus..."

"I apologise..." He smiled, and returned to his work. He spent a lot of time at that desk and did as much as he could to ease the pressure off of my demanding workload.

"Are you sure that it's not too much work, Tseng?" I'd asked, and he had laughed lightly, a sound that I'd come to try and provoke.

"Your father is somewhat of a slave driver, Rufus... I almost can not believe he asks so much of you..."

"It's manageable, but I understand that it's tiring at the least... You don't need to do it if you don't want to..."

"I was born into a family of Wutaian historians, Rufus. Paperwork is a given, and I am almost certain I am doing less here than I would have to do back home...So, thank you, sir..."

He then smiled and held my gaze for a few moments, just long enough to make my cheeks begin to burn, before he returned to his work. There were many things I wasn't sure of about the Turk before me, but I was almost certain now, that he did that to me on purpose...

--

**A/N:** Yay. :) Hope you guys are liking this. There's two chapters ready to go now, and another one ready to be typed, so just let me know how much ya want it. hehe.


	2. Murmur

YAY!! I GET TO WRITE AS TSENG!! XD Dream come true, thanks to the wonderful art of fan fiction. buahahah.

As you can tell, I'm pretty excited about this chapter. hehe. Turns out there's going to be four chapters after all. Who knew, huh? lol.

**Warnings:** **Refer to chapter one kthnx.**

_Chapter 2_

_It would be naieve for me to say I had planned this and graciously accepted it with little difficulty. I was a keepr now, and the adjustment from high paced assassinations and bloodshed to a personal guard would have culture shocked anyone. It had irked me though, the way that things began to unfold before my eyes, and my very image itself slipped through the cracks. Everything I had owned and loved, now belonged solely to another. I am Tseng, Commander of the Turks, and as much as I'd like to say that this is my story, it never was. It was always him. _

--

"Tseng..."

It was as firm a tone as it always was, and I had come to expect no different. It was amazing how much confidence and authority he could inflict within a single word.

"Yes Rufus?

"Has my father mentioned to you his plan of a Costa Del Sol Vacation at all?"

"Not that I know of, no..."

"Hmm... Strange..."

He was quiet for sometime then, as he continued to scrawl across the papers before him. It wasn't a new occurence, these prolonged silences where all that could be heard was the scratch of pen across paper. Rufus continued to hold his cold exterior throughout our... partnership, I suppose you could say... but he was more than vulnerable to me now, and i think he knew it. That single day, where he had been on the verge of an anxiety attack, his bullet wound continuing to bleed onto the stretcher that bore him, he'd let me into a private part of his life with little resistance. It had been a little daunting to say the very least. Rufus Shinra was renowned as a private soul, and his father prided himself on instilling a 'no fear' persona onto him. Rufus had laid there however, the image of a scared young man with the fear of death within him, at it had been in that moment that my personal goal had begun. Those tears of pure fear and panic had proved, if anything, that Rufus was human. I wanted to see every minute change of emotion that such a hardened exterior hid.

I was willing to admit, he captivated me beyond anything or anyone I had encountered. He was intelligent to the point that Hojo had plea-bargained with his father in an attempt to take him on as a researcher. He was calculating and precise with everything he did, as well as being efficient, hardworking and confident. Despite every high and sought after quality this figure possessed, he was remarkably down to Earth. He was caring, witty, passionate, charming, polite, and gracious. It bothered me somewhat to find that he used these latter qualities so infrequently. Turks... we were moulded to know everything there was to know about mankind. Every emotion, every change of expression. How to lie, how to tell who was lying, it was all a continuous loop of information and it worked on everyone I had ever met with great ease. People are all too easy to read. Everyone is motivated by one of very few goals. Lust, love, money, knowledge or power. Everyone had a twisted form of it instilled within them, driving them towards something bigger, and everyone was so easy to determine. Except Rufus... He had men or women who were willing to throw themselves at him in lust, the love of a support group around him who catered to his every need, the money to outlast time, knowledge beyond many, and the power that would one day rule the world. He had everything, and yet he still strived, hiding behind a constant barrage of masks, each one more complicated than the last. Such a large amount of passion for life... it drew me to him, and yet he hid it so well.

This passion flickered through in moments like these, however, when he immersed himself within his work, and stopped only when he was unable to write any longer, or had finished.

"Tseng?"

"Yes Sir?"

He smiled then, I'd somehow known that he would. It was a small smile, but it was beautiful in its rarity just the same.

"How many times must I ask you?" He quirked his eyebrow and met my gaze. I smirked a little in return. Perhaps I was manipulative, but it was always worth it to see that very human smile... Something told me he had caught on to my intentions some time ago, but continued to play my selfish little game.

"I apologise Rufus. The term appears to slip out at times..."

"I understand Tseng. Anyway, I was planning on asking if it was perhaps more convenient to finish early rather than take a very late lunch?"

I looked at the clock above his desk then, and inwardly groaned. Already, it had reached five thirty pm, and it had appeared that we had once again neglected to eat. It was somewhat hazardous to work with a workaholic, when you are one yourself. Fatigue and exhaustion had become a common friend. When assigned with Reno, the balance had been almost perfect. I would slave drive the bastard until he was ready to collapse, and that was when I knew break time had arrived. Rufus however? You could work him to the bone, and he was highly unlikely to even notice.

"Perhaps we could count it an early breakfast and get right into the budget files tomorrow morning..." I replied wryly, and he graced me with a small laugh.

"Leaving early it is then..."

"You're the boss..."

He stood then and grabbed his coat. He was always a fan of dressing in white. I think it's a combination of both defiance and personal taste, or a sense of belonging. You could never really tell. His father was the type to opt for lavish colours and high decoration. He swam in vivid reds, golds and blues. A show pony, to put it simply. Rufus, however, liked it simple, with whites, creams and blacks. His taste related to the simplicity of Kalm's, where he was born originally and still felt strong ties to his deceased mother. His father had been against the village to begin with, despite it being his wife's hometown, yet Rufus continued to wear white against his father's wishes. I detested the man, personally. Not Rufus, no, but his father. I had spent five years in his service, and he was willing to discard me to be employed as Rufus' personal guard. Ha... perhaps he was a man to thank, for that, if nothing else. I had spent much of those five years in the confines of his disgustingly rich office, constantly hearing Rufus' name and the eloquent voice he held over the telephone speaker. Yet, I had never been offered the opportunity to see further of the boy than a mere photograph. With that said, he had never needed to be seen in person to be appreciated in the looks department. A photograph had sat upon the president's desk, of both he and Rufus, as the president's foot rested idly on the body of a recently slain Vlakorados. He smiled widely I remember, as his eyes, even through a photograph, radiated such an intense bloodlust that it chilled me to see. His son stood beside him, however, his eyes full of sorrow and regret as he cradled a Zeio nut in his hands. It would later be used to breed the president's prized chocobo, Damora Sunrise, although Rufus rarely spoke of the bird. He was a closet fanatic of chocobos, and yet he hated the way in which he had bred the apple of his father's racing eye. He still held a love for her though, and it was evident in the poster upon his wall. It was somewhat of a gentle quirk, which his father frowned on openly.

"He's never been a big fan of killing. Some bullshit about reasoning and unnecessary actions, he says..." Shinra had spat in clear disdain, when I'd made a remark about the photograph. I killed as part of my job. It was a mere profession. I had never enjoyed the slaughtering of a person or beast that was incapable of harming me or any others without provocation. Fighting, yes; I loved the hand to hand combat and the sparring between two qualified professionals for sport or training. Killing? No, there was never any enjoyment in the thought of taking a life. Everytime I killed a man, it chilled me to think that I had just stripped him from a family. From a mother, a sibling, a child... That bastard Shinra though... he loved it. Yet, here was his son, a pacifist of sorts. He would have to make choices in life where lives would be taken, but it would not be him who pulled the trigger. I doubted he would even allow himself the authority to sign the papers. He had suggested he would hand that to me...

"Tseng, have you finished that report?" Rufus asked suddenly, as I stood from behind my desk.

"I have a little more to write actually, so you're welcome to leave..."

He sat gracefully as I said it though, and he must have seen my confusion.

"I'll wait..." He explained.

"Don't feel obliged to..."

"I don't feel obliged. I simply wish to. Try not to take too long however."

"Of course."

He brushed the hair from his eyes then and pulled out his cellphone. It was never far from his reach, and I could relate to that easily. Shinra was operated almost entirely of telecommunications and email. SOLDIER prefered the latter, whilst the Turks chose the former as a more effective mean. That decision had not been mine to make, but I was never really one to complain. He began talking then, clearly getting through to whoever he was intending to contact. His smooth yet authorative voice resounded through our shared office, and I suppressed a small smile. He always spoke so clearly, and his lips always formed each word like a sculptor on a piece of clay.

My desires for the blonde had been apparent from the first time I had seen his photograph. At least to myself, anyway. Even now, I flicked my eyes up from a visitor clearance form and found myself transfixed between full lips, smokey blue eyes, and the hint of pale skin of his collarbone that teased from a slightly parted shirt. It had never been a good idea to let my stares linger. They often transpired into deeper thought, as they were now, despite my will to urge them away. What noises would he make should I nip lightly at that exposed collarbone, my lips trailing flawless skin? What would those devilishly sensual lips taste of, should I cover them with my own? Would those eyes hold their ethereal beauty if they were half lidded, his body writhing beneath mine in unbound pleasure? And Gods... what elicit little words might he produce if I were to catch him in a haze of lust? What words would he gasp as I trailed feather soft touches along that slim little wai-

"Tseng, are you done?" Rufus asked, drawing me rather sharply from my impure thoughts. His conversation had clearly ended, as he closed his cell phone with long fingers, smiling subtly, albeit a little sadly. Who had he just spoken to?

"Yes..." I breathed, my own musings drawing a mild state of arousal to my blood. I willed the colour from my cheeks however and breathed a little deeper, and prayed to Da Chao that it was working...

"Let's go then..."

"Where to?"

"La Mirage?"

His taste in food was as refined as it was in anything else, so I was not surprised by his choice. I simply nodded as he opened the door and gestured me out.

--

The meal had been delectable and he had, as usual, graciously paid. Knowing every detail of the Turk budgeting, he knew how much my pay cheque totalled to each week, and that I was more than capable of paying. Yet, he continually paid for their meals just the same. He'd had a little too much to drink this evening however, underestimating the strength and effect of Gongagan whisky, and so I fulfilled my duties even further by calling a cab. Whatever the phone call had been about, it had upset Rufus. How, I wasn't sure, but the blonde had become increasingly... tired... He looked wearier, and it was far too often than not that I would catch glimpses of a fleeting frown beneath that stoic expression. He was a tormented soul, to say the least... It was night fall now, and it had begun to grow cloder as he leant casually against my shoulder for support whilst we waited for the cab to arrive.

"How disgusting... I apologise Tseng..." He sighed, slightly slurring, I should have stuck with a drink familiar to me. Now look at me, unable to stand on my own two feet..."

He laughed then, a bitter tone ringing through out it.

"Ha... unable to stand on my own two feet... imagine my father's face now, should he see me like this? He always loved being proven right..."

This was his father's fault to begin with, I was sure. That phone call had been far too formal for it to be anyone but, and any time Rufus sunk into a spiral of self loathing, his father was inevitably to blame.

"Last month, your father drank double the amount you have, and ended up vomitting on Rude's shoe..." I smirked, "And it had barely passed noon..."

Rufus gave a small bark of laughter and smiled up at me from his position on my shoulder.

"That... Tseng... was the perfect thing to say. Well done..."

"I would like it if you never lessened yourself in comparison to your father..."

"Yes, well, you would know him better then I do, I suppose."

I remained silent. It was probably very much the truth, and the mere thought disgusted me. The cab had arrived however, so I needed not to be concerned with a subject change. I thought of my own father through my childhood, teaching me to sword fight, tickle fights on the hills near my home, and the smell of his pipe as he sat me upon his knee and read me stories from _'A Thousand Goodbyes'_. Nobody should ever have been denied experiences like that. For Rufus, it had been a long line of babysitters and Turks, all of which were hardly permanent, and far less than emotionally attached. It had been a job for them, with Reno the only acception. He loved the boy as his own blood, and it was apparent in his loyalty towards him. He would make a fine Turk, and I intended to grace him as my second in command. I felt I owed him that much.

I helped Rufus clamber inside the taxi cab, and slid in beside him. The taxi driver turned in his seat, a look of recognition in his eyes.

"Where are ya goin Vice President?" He asked with a toothy grin. Rufus was in no condition to even reply.

"Shinra Headquarters, thank you. It would be in your absolute best interest if you tell no one of this..."

I sounded cold, even to myself, and it seemed to have worked. He turned back around to drive in silence, as I turned to face a now unconscious Rufus. Lucky for the blonde, he recovered from alcohol exceptionally well and often sobered up after a short amount of sleep. Yet another quirky _human_ reaction. I started second doubting my thoughts of him. He was clearly human, and yet he had always appeared Godly to me. He was far from the perfect human being, and perhaps that is what drew me closer to his side. Every person had their skeletons, and we shared plenty.

The cab trip was short, and yet I handed over a substantial amount of money, and he seemingly understood.

"You've got my word, boss..." He grinned, nodding, as he waited for me to pull Rufus from the cab and cradle him delicately in my arms. He was a featherweight, really. He rested his head against my shoulder, as his arms snaked around my neck.

I thanked the cover of night for Rufus' sake. He was proud, and if he were seen by those he deemed untrustworthy in this state, he would surely feel a further strain he need not bear. He was breaking, and it un-nerved me. I'd wanted to see every emotion, but I was unwilling to share, despite this. I wanted the smiles, the fears, the salted trails of tears in his weaker moments. I wanted them all, but I hardly wanted the World to share them with me. Ha... I was not even able to act upon these desires, which really only increased the level of selfishness involved. I was a Turk, the Commander no less, and Rufus was my boss. It was uncharacteristically arrogant of me to assume reciprocated feelings, and so I chose not to. He nuzzled my shoulder now, and muttered words slipped through his dreams.

"...B-0-1-3-4-0... Eighteen thousand, five hundred gil..."

I held back a laugh at the newly discovered quirk. It was my identification number and my monthly earnings. A pang of sadness hit me though.

Even in the time allocated to all human beings for rest and peace, he couldn't escape his work. I wondered how to possibly improve it, and then... actually...

"0-5-0-4-8?" I smirked, and he let out a gentle laugh.

"Ten thousand, two hundred and fourty gil..." Rufus murmured, and I laughed in spite of myself. Reno's earnings had always been a precise topic for the redhead, due to his obsessive compulsion regarding money.

"Tseng..."

"Yes?"

He remained silent however, and the realisation reached me. He was still asleep, with a dream of me lingering on his mind... I brushed aside the thought as I reached the Shinra Mansion beside headquarters and froze. Rufus still smelt of alcohol, and I felt nauseated at the thought of his father seeing him like this. The hypocritical bastard he was...

Rufus would take over this company and perfect it, and I intended to remain by his side dying for him or dying with him. It was my duty as a Turk now. Rufus belonged to me, whether he realised it or not. Shinra himself? Well, he was of no need to me now. Rufus was my future, and he would prove the old bastard wrong, I knew. For now, however, the blonde would stay at my apartment. I ran into Reno on the way, and the redhead smiled fondly at the cradled figure in my arms.

"Ah damn, kid..." he sighed, "What the hell happened to you?"

"Gongagan whisky..." I replied, and Reno let out a low whistle.

"Straight onto that hard stuff again, huh?"

Again? Rufus knew that he would become drunk off of this... Perhaps I would speak to him tomorrow...

"I think come tomorrow he'll have learnt his lesson..." I stated, and Reno smirked widely.

"Nah, lucky bastard has an inbuilt hangover defense system... Any orders, boss?"

He rested his EMR against his shoulder as he casually leant against the hallway wall. He was cocky, but he had real heart. Especially regarding Rufus.

The memory of his actions that day still constricted my chest slightly. Rude had radioed in the incident, whilst I was only a hundred metres away, useless, and informed me that the Vice President and my best Turk had been critically hit. I'd arrived on the scene to an unconscious Rufus and a panicky Reno.

"Get the kid... to a hospital..." He'd gasped through his own blood as he reached for the blonde's hande, "You're not dying on me... you son of a bitch... We're getting smashed... at your twenty first..."

We'd almost lost both that day, and they'd caught the culprit five days later. The death penalty had been awarded, before Rufus had turned to me in his hospital bed and shaken his head. He'd held that same look on his face as the day he'd slain that Vlakorados and he'd asked for the necessary over-ruling forms and filled them out immediately. That was my first sign of guilt from him, as he turned to me and explained 'He shot at me for a reason. I am not an entirely decent man Tseng. I'm sure he has family who will value his pardon from death...' I knew then that I wanted to serve no other. We'd had no choice but to merely imprison him, but not before a decent roughing up... The Turks were employed by me, and I was employed by the president, but our loyalties lay with Rufus. The boy grew up in our care, underwent our training, and knew every detail of our intel. It made him family.

"Look into Taxi Cab 410..." I replied, "Have the driver followed tonight. If he so much as looks of letting any of this slip, convince him otherwise..."

"Yes sir..."

Rufus' pacifistic look flashed through my eyes and I paused as we reached my apartment.

"Reno..."

"Yes Boss?"

"Don't hurt him too much... even if he does, ok?"

Reno paused then, before a look of understanding crossed his face, and he gently ruffled the blonde spikes. He then disappeared after opening the door, and would return with no less than a successful mission. That much was certain. He always returned successful, or not at all, his own personal rule. I carried Rufus inside and shuffled him in my arms so that I could deal with the new challenge of both closing and deadlocking the door. In hindsight, it may not have been my best idea, as he shuffled in his sleep and now had his lips pressed against my neck, latching on as he may a bottle. Turk composure was just about the only thing holding me together in the slightest at the moment, as he murmured quietly in his sleep, only heightening my awareness of the little ministrations he was dealing my throat. No, I was here to give him a place to sleep and take care of him, that was all. He was very clingy as he slept, and it only furthered my concern that the beautiful blonde was becoming further damaged with each day of his strenuous life. I could ease it, if only a little, I was sure...

I had previously considered staying in the same room as him tonight, but that decision was looking to be a costly one should I follow through with it. He could take my bed. I was quite content with the couch. I kicked open the bedroom door with my shoes, as his head lolled slightly, finally detached from my neck and rested instead against my shoulder. Good, much better... I kicked my own shoes off, albeit awkwardly, before placing Rufus atop my bed and prying his hands from my neck. Now that he was free from me... Well, it had never been a crime to look had it? I don't think it would have mattered anyway. This little indulgence had become a frequent habit on the times I had stayed in Rufus' quarters, where I would slip in from my own room and watch the blonde sleep. I loved the sight. His lips parted as he breathed softly, and his chest rose and fell gently as he did so. His hair was mildly ruffled already tonight from nuzzling against me, and bed hair was entirely befitting on the young heir. I had told him this before, and he'd laughed lightly, before smirking as he combed it neatly into place. He _usually_ only slept in sweatpants, however, much to my secret delight. He had the lean muscle tone that Turk training had awarded him, and yet he continually hid it under layers of concealing suit jackets and dress shirts. The sweatpants in sleep not only gave me a view of what I'd sought for what seemed an eternity now, but apparently was what Rufus was most comfortable in. For an executive who ran a company smoothly and swiftly, and had everything down to a fine line perfection, he hated the sharpness of suits.

"They're full of glamour and out to draw attention..." He had said once, "I'd much prefer the relaxed comfort of a pair of sweatpants or boxer shorts if I'm going to have to sleep in anything at all." That statement had set the imagination racing, but it also brought me to my current thought.

Perhaps I should undress him for his own comfort and pleasure? But what would we do then, about mine? If I undressed him quickly, it would become easier to retire to the usual cold shower affair that I held. But, if I rushed, it would surely wake him and make for a somewhat awkward situation.

"Hmmm..."

He was murmuring again, and held a slight frown across his face as his hand came to rest across his chest, the other sliding underneath the back of his head... Well... I guess he genuinely _did _seem uncomfortable... I reached down to unlace his shoes to begin with, partially for my own concern of my bedsheets. Satin was entirely too difficult to clean for a person like me who had minimal education in common house chores, and I let no one enter my quarters without my escort, cleaning staff or otherwise.

"It can only add to your workload, doing your own cleaning, surely?" Rufus had commented lightly only last week, and I'd given him a quirked eyebrow in return. He then smiled and returned to his paperwork. I was raised a hard worker and I would inevitably die one. Rufus's shoes were immaculately polished today, as they were almost every other day. Unlike Reno and several of the other Turks, he didn't have a tendency to drag his feet at all, and so his shoes remained flawless.

His coat then, was a reasonably easy task. He wore large simple buttons on his coats, nothing too elaborate, and continued to stick to his 'plain and simple' beliefs. I lifted him slightly to peel the jacket from his arms, and he moved a little. I paused, before setting him back down, and he settled once again. I then realised the mammoth task before me, and sighed inwardly. The dress shirt's buttons were, as expected, considerably smaller, and stretched slightly over the taut muscle beneath. I found myself holding my breath as I undid each button, revealing inch by inch of that delicious skin... Then there it was... A large red mark, where I froze. The all too recent bullet wound had left a vicious scar, and the constant taunt of the person before me almost losing his life. It was another human imperfection, and my finger trailed along it as I undid the next button. It should have felt horrible that I was so enraptured by this act. It should have bothered me that a sleeping, defenceless Rufus was stirring the blood within my body, and yet I paid no attention. It was my job to guard him, and my desire to protect him. There was a difference, all Turks knew that. We had been told that guarding held no personal attachment other than a duty to play human shield and rambo at any cost. We had been told that protecting was an act of selfish desire and possession, and held no prospect nor benefit for the target. Emotions were invalid for a Turk after all, and we were expected to show excelling self restraint. But, no benefit? I had never held a genuine desire to guard OR protect against a bullet for Shinra, yet I would do either and both for his son. How did it hold no benefit?

I lifted him by the shoulders once more and slid his shirt from his torso, before his head fell forward against my chest, his lips murmuring something against my skin as his hands slowly circled my waist of their own accord. I froze, my mind racing to try and catch up with my body. Half naked Rufus, nuzzled against me, asleep, as that skin radiated warmth through my suit and reached my own... He was so vulnerable at this moment... There were several sane options here, or at least options that had some kind of logic. I could let go of him and leave, ignoring everything, I could take advantage of the vulnerability and take what I wanted, as he was simply no match for my skill, or I could kiss him, wake him up, and confess everything. What I did though, held no logic or sanity. I gently placed a hand on his back and a hand behind his head, cradling him against me like the piece of fragile art he was, and stood quietly. It should not have been so soothing to simply hold without lust, or to touch without desire, and yet... He'd made a pacifist of me... Sneaky bastard. His hair, God... my restraint slipped a little further and I rested my face in it slightly, breathing in the smell and everything about it that radiated Rufus. He let out a small gasp, followed by a restrained content sigh, and I was tempted to do the same. I had to leave before I lost my mind. I was a Turk, and this was pathetic. I was an assassin, a warrior, an elite fighting force, and here I was burying myself in this object of perfection and attempting to block out anything else but the smell of that hair and the beating of that heart. He'd gone in too deep, and I refused to let him in further. I placed a gentle kiss in the golden mass, allowing myself the final pleasure of the sensation, before lowering him to lay on his back, and draped the covers over him. He was at ease, and he was all the more beautiful for it. Despite my attempts at restrain, my traitorous fingers reached out and brushed the blonde from his eyes.

"Sleep well, my prince..." I murmured into the darkness, as I slipped from the literal forbidden fruit, and into the hall, straightening my tie. I was a Turk, and my mind had to be on the job.

I walked out of my quarters, locking the door behind me as I headed for the office. Give me something to do... Anything, please, anything to keep me from the concern of that slowly breaking facade...

"...Rufus..." It slipped through my lips in a pained whisper, and I pushed it aside as I did the office door, sitting down quietly and pretending I didn't notice the vacancy across the room.

--

A/N: Many long nights spent on this. It's strange... it was so much easier to write this chapter than anything else I'm creating. lol.

Except maybe 'Unforgiven'... lol. xD

Anyway, next chapter soon. They're all done remember, so it all depends on how much you guys review. I'm evil that way. lol.

Hope you're liking it. :)


	3. Barrel

Heh. xD

I love this story. Dunno why, but I do. -pets Rufus and Tseng-

So, we're back again to Rufus. Yay.

Oh, this chap is really angsty. lol. I realise that, so you don't really _need _to point it out, but it's ok if you do. lol.

**Warnings:** **Refer to chapter one kthnx.**

_Chapter 3_

_What kind of a person would I be if my life held no promise but hurt and suffering?____Was there any alternative to an existance of betrayal, facades and corruption? No... Well, not as far as I am aware... But... corruption and power breed obsession... perhaps not necessarily of the bad kind. After all, I am Rufus Shinra, and I am a man obsessed. ___

**--**

"Vice President!"

"What is it?"

God, he was the figure of sinister itself, and his mere prescence unsettled me. As brilliant minded as he was, his insanity rivalled his intelligence. Luckily for him, I had chosen long ago to keep him aboard when the time came.

"I wanted your opinion on a chemical compound..."

Hojo then thrust the papers in my direction, the elevator continuing ints painfully slow descent upwards. I could feel Tseng watching Hojo carefully, and I smiled slightly. Being on very good terms with his SOLDIER counterpart had left Tseng both untrusting and bitter towards Hojo, almost as much as the General himself. I briefly looked over the professor's proposed creation of a new energy source, and shook my head. He'd missed an extremely crucial detail. It was easy to miss, yes, but it was crucial just the same.

"You have written, as a procedural method, 'extraction of Frg and Mko to be infused with K'..."

"Yes. To form, theoretically, a..."

"Potassium is stable when combined with mako, but you honestly intend to infuse it with Firaga? It's chemically unstable. You'll end up with a reaction you can not control and blow up the entire city..."

Hojo snatched back the papers and scoured over them frantically, as the elevator stopped on the fifty second floor and the General stepped inside. He nooded towards me in greeting, and I did the same.

"How did I... How could I have _possibly_..." Hojo spluttered, as a small smirk crept along Sephiroth's lips.

"I don't know professor, but I do suggest a refresher course on basic mater-chemic fusion before you approach me with this proposal again..." He gaped at me slightly in response, before nodding curtly and getting off at the next floor, clearly disgruntled. What had he expected, honestly? He had produced this theory before me four times now, and had disappeared to the labs afterwards everytime to fix a flaw that I had noted. It was obvious that he was perturbed by my corrections, and somewhat embarrassed that I had to correct him so often. He, who was a trained and professional scientist, being corrected and adjusted by a twenty year old businessman, effectively. I didn't bother too much with today's reaction from the professor. It was simply one less person that I would have to deal with at this morning's meeting. The less people to deal with, the better...

"Sephiroth... I hope you are well?" Tseng greeted softly from behind me, and the General nodded, turning bemused eyes to me.

"Yes, thank you Tseng. I am always pleased to hear the Vice President get the better of our self-proclaimed genius..."

"He's quite the perfectionist, but he somehow manages to miss the most blatantly obvious details. He almost single handedly destroyed Midgar..." I sighed, and the General smirked.

"I suppose I should thank you for my life, sir..." He mused, as we reached our floor.

"No need to General, you may not want to after this meeting. Scarlet has a proposal..."

Sephiroth tensed slightly, and threw Tseng a look. It was no secret that Weapons Development was not appreciated by either SOLDIER or the Turks, and neither Sephiroth or Tseng bothered to hide their dislike of Scarlet herself. They had reportedly had heated encounters in the past at meetings held by my father, yet today was the first time I was to hold a meeting with all three in attendance. No, executive meetings had always been left to my father, and Sephiroth himself had advised him not to allow my attendance. I bore no grudges to the General however. If anything, he had been doing me a favour all these years. He was currently at a press conference over a terrorist uprising throughout all eight sectors, however, and left me to the executive's discussion regarding the issue. Tseng's earpiece had been picking up the quiet transmissions from the conference as the Turks collaborated my father's security. He, however, had come along with me, after requesting to do so to my father. He was right, it would seem, as the air was thick with tension as soon as we entered the room. We all took our seats however, Tseng standing behind me as we did so, and I began proceedings. It was sure to take some time today...

--

This was not what I had expected, and of course, was left entirely in my care. So far, Scarlet had rattled off proposal after proposal regarding weapons development and it's re-structuring, all the while avoiding the elephant in the room with us. Not a single mention of the uprising disaster had occurred, and Scarlet herself had been somewhat skillful in tip-toeing around the topic, as the tension steadily grew, and the General's eyes began to glass. In past experiences, the glassing of emeralds had never been a pleasant experience, and it was not looking to show otherwise anytime soon. Ha... prehaps this meeting would end up with a little more flair than I'd first thought...

"... and so I was proposing a further detailed outline on the budgeting of the company and which departments shall be allocated the yearly crisis funds..." Scarlet smiled sweetly, the gesture far too fake for me to even comprehend stomaching at the moment.

"Are you hoping for them, Miss Scarlet?" Sephiroth asked lightly, and she held her steadfast smile, her eyes hardening slightly.

"Of course, General, aren't we all?"

"And I suppose that you are to hold full claim for the past few days then? Or even provide some kind of explanation? I'm sure should we have had access to your department's _fine _armory and artillery, we would have fared wonderfully..."

And here comes the elephant... Sephiroth's gaze was cold and un-moving. Scarlet's cheeks flushed minutely, as she scowled, her eyes as equally cold and ominous.

"Your idiot SOLDIERs couldn't tell a truly fine piece of weaponry from a toilet brush!" Scarlet finally managed to hiss, and the emerald green of Sephiroth's eyes flashed menacingly.

"I beg your pardon Miss Scarlet, but I believe you may be highly misguided in your judgments..."

Sephiroth had always been highly polite, even in an argument, but I knew that masamune could be pulled out and at her throat before she could say 'pompous ass'. Yes, a favoured nick name for Sephiroth given by Scarlet herself. It was always behind his back, or course, but surely it accounted for something... If she slipped up any time soon, which I secretly hope she does, we may just witness her beheading.

"Ha! You think your little puppet boys can dance around on your fingers and make friends with those marionette Turks, all the while sincerely believing you're a use to this company in the slightest?!" She scoffed, and I felt the heat radiating behind me to a rather intense level, before it was swiftly delivered.

"His puppets and my marionettes seem to have little difficulty trapsing across your own hands whenever you feel the urge to pull strings. Perhaps if they had been allowed to do their jobs, sector six may have been saved from the damage it now suffers. Unfortunately, resources were stretched to capacity because they were off running errands like paper boys under the orders of a hussy with far more bark than her pissy little bite..."

Well...

Tseng's little outbusrst had left somewhat of a stunned silence around the conference table, before Scarlet let out a feral hiss, seemingly beyond words, and Sephiroth let out a small snort of laughter. Tseng was brilliant... and this vicious side of him? Was it wrong to be extremely attracted to it? He was the most fired up and passionate that I had ever seen him, and it radiated a strong sex appeal that I was having difficulty denying. Scarlet then slammed her fists on the table, as she hissed once more and rounded a burning gaze onto Tseng.

"You piece of Wutaian scum! How dare you speak of morals to me! You claim superiority, but you are a traitor to your country and an inconvenience to your company. It takes very little skill to pick up street rats and trian them to kill, and yet you attempt to belittle me..."

"You have little right to speak of morals yourself as you sit in a chair held by sexual favours and blood money from your own hired assassinations... You disgust me..." Sephiroth hissed in return, palms slamming against the table, forcing it to groan under the pure force. Tseng remeained deathly silent before me, although the sweltering gazes I felt focused in Scarlet's direction had left me somewhat enraged myself. Who the hell did she think she was?

"You defend this scum of the Earth General, even after his kind killed waves of your warriors... slaughtered your brothers, your _family_..." Scarlet paused in apparent distaste, "You continue to defend him, even after all his people have done..."

"It was not Tseng personally, Scarlet. Would you like to be made accountable for _your_ father's actions? Tseng is a loyal Shinra worker and a fantastic Turk Commander. How dare _you _sit there and undermime him like that..." Sephiroth hissed, the mahogany cracking slightly as his pressure on the table increased. My stoic angel continued to stand in silence behind me, loathing radiating from his every pore, as the room's occupants began looking to me for guidance. What the hell was I meant to do? It was like Hojo's unstable chemical reaction. Once this had started, it wasn't going to stop until _something_ exploded.

"Undermime him? what is there to undermime? He should have been shot with the rest of-"

"Enough..." a voice hissed, and the realisation settled in that it had been me. The room fell eerily silent, as Scarlet rounded her gaze on me.

"...Just... enough..."

"Vice President! Surely not even _you _defend this worthless..." She began, but she stopped, as my hand moved of it's own accord. It was as if I wasn't my own person anymore, as the gun remained steady in my hand, its power a little unsettling in my control.

"You will shut your mouth Scarlet, or so help me God, I will shut it myself..." the shadow of myself warned, as she floundered wordlessly, her eyes never moving from the barrel of that weapon. I could take a life. Right here, right now. The power was incredible, and it was almost breath-taking. It was a small glimmer of the exhiliration my knight must feel, and here I was, doing it for him. The silence seemed to stretch on forever, and I was vaguely aware that many of those in my company were holding their breaths. Yes, I was in control, and they all knew it. Perhaps it was why my father chose to be such an asshole. This feeling of absolute submission from everyone around him. My finger moved to pull the trigger, but before I could, a gentle hand encased my own and slid the cool metal from my fingers. I looked up to the electric storm that was Tseng's face, and he shook his head, placing the revolver on the table before me, just out of my reach. Tseng nodded to the members of the room.

"...Excuse me..." He said quietly, before slipping from the room in silence. Sephiroth followed shortly after, the mako in his eyes burning brightly. He had been known to excuse himself when he had a genuine concern of killing a comrade, and his heated presence leaving through the conference room doors usually eased some of the think tension within the air. Not today however. No. It was me today, that had held the power in my hands, and being in charge of the meeting, I could not simply excuse myself from the room. I could, however, excuse the rest of them, and that I did.

They left hurriedly, and I was alone, with my mind the proverbial storm in a teacup. The single image was burnt into my mind, of his face... The image of my knight's face, as he stood there with my hands in his own... What was the prominent emotion? I couldn't even tell. I knew what was there though, and it was shock, it was horror, and it was confusion. It was a kind of sadness that was almost unbearable to bear witness to. Scarlet... you slut... But wait, no... He had stood there, and he was silent in all his beauty whilst she insulted everything he loved and cherished. He concealed all his emotion at her onslaught, but he had opened up a puzzlement of them at my actions. I'd made him leave. It was me. Once again, he had placed me before himself, and my selfish actions had cost him for it. He hated her beyond anyone he knew, he had said that himself, and yet he would not allow me to shoot her. For one reason or another, he had stopped me from doing something he surely wanted, and it was for my own sake. Regardless of that, news would reach my father, and I would be severely reprimanded. But... he was worth it. He was very much worth it. Tseng had become a large part of my life, whether he had worked at gaining it or not... He had shown me compassion, and in return I gave him personal tales, thoughts, memories. He gave me patience, and in return, I gave him my time. He gave me loyalty, and I gave him the trust with my life. He gave me an insight into himself, and I'd given nothing. No, I'd given him nothing, but the bastard had helped himself to my heart. I should hate him. I should loathe how he changed me, moulded me, mended me... I was fine before he got here, but now I'd die if he leaves. Dependancy. It was a foreign term, and a foreign feeling... What a bitch it was.

The barrel of that gun was almost staring at me, the glint of the metal against the glass surface as the light reflected down. It was captivating... I'd been willing to kill for him. I should be ashamed. He had always been an untouchable gold and a barrage of glimpses at the unreadable emotions that occassionally flitted across his face. Until last week. I'd awoken, sobered almost instantly, and I'd been resting in his arms. I had when I had initially woken from our cab ride, but this time had been different. He wasn't holding so much as embracing, his head resting against mine. It was almost... loving... I'd taken the opportunity then to slip my arms around the lithe waist, and his name fell unbidden from my lips, and yet, I continued to feign sleep. Something had told me that the moment we were sharing was exclusively for him. It was a pained gesture, and I was unsure what he would do should he know I was awake. So, I chose not to act. No, he never deserved pain. Never. It was a torment I never wanted to burden him with. So, I 'slept', and he lay me down, covering my body with his quilt as he slipped from the room, those soft words on his lips.

_'Sleep well, my prince...'_

I see the irony now, that it was those very words that drove me from slumber for the entire night. Perhaps it was then, as it is now, the realisation that I had become too dependent. That I had become so reliant on the Turk that I could not comprehend a further day without him... That was what drove me to it... carrying a weapon. It had been simple enough. Reno had been all to eager to please, as I know he always will be, and had slipped me the revolver from the armoury, regardless of the risks to his life and career. Tseng would know though, and my stomach tightened at the mere thought of the redhead suffering consequence for my action. Another one to be added to the list of those I continually broke.

I trailed a finger over the barrel of the gun, the metal leaving a trickling sensation along my skin. Such power, such strength, such grace... this weapon was all that I could not be. My father had made sure that the power and strength I had was as limited as possible, ensuring he would reign for a long time to come. This grace... this beauty... This world was one where this weapon was accepted with awe and wonder. What was I? Nothing. Nothing but pain, and hurt, and complications. This weapon... it could end it all...

It teased at me, the opportunity at all I had damaged being left behind. My father could find a more willing successor to his 'throne'. My Turks could find a fitting subject to accept as their own. And Tseng... The ever luminous Tseng... he could find someone he deserved. He could find someone that would provide him with a simpler existance. A nice girl with which to raise a family free from this corruption and the weight of this over bearing power. He could find someone that would provide him with appropriate emotional response, and not a fucking facade built over 20 odd years of burden. Burden... That and pain would be all that I could offer. No... no... I could not bear anything but his happiness. The ache in my stomach continued, and my eyes prickled with heat. Tears, huh? It was somehow ironic... emotional effect that tears were afterall...

My trailing fingers clasped around the barrel and raised it within my fingers, cradling its weight in my palms. My father, what would he say? What would he think? What would he tell the people? Anything he produced would surely be a lie, the overbearing shame of a suicidal son would ruin him. But wait... I wouldn't hear any of it... No more of the lies, and the beatings, and the cold hatred radiating from his eyes... My father's voice mocked me in my ears even now...

_'Fear is not an option...'_

Ha... another disappointment, you bastard... The gun trembled now in my grasp, as I placed the barrel against my temple, and murmured a final name from my lips, my fingers fumbling to grasp towards the trigger. Wait... the sound of hurried footsteps then across tiled floor, before the gun was wrenched from my hands and slid across the table. Firm hands grasped my shoulders then, as I began to sob drily, my head pulled roughly against an erratic heartbeat. I was pulled to the floor by shaking arms, and rocked gently, before a more violent shake followed.

"Fuck you Rufus, you selfish bastard..." Came the hiss in my ear, as the hands moved to my back and head, clutching tightly to my coat and hair. It was so familiar...

"You selfish, arrogant little fuck of a kid... How could you even consider doing that to me?"

'I don't know' I wanted to reply, 'I thought it would help you... I want to help you...', but I was lost for words, as gentle kisses fell against my hair and shallow breathing fell against my ear. Tearless sobs continued to rack my body, as the gentle rocking resumed.

"Don't ever make me hate you... _ever_..." He whispered into my hair, "Or I will do it myself next time, and not a soul will be able to stop me..."

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I just wanted... I just..." I choked, and he buried his face into my hair, his arms enveloping me in a shield from the rest of the fucked up world. This was right. This was living. I clutched desperately at his suit, and for once, he didn't seem to mind about creases. His heartbeat last week had been as soothing and gentle as the arms that had held me. Now, it threatened to explode with the rapid thumps against his chest.

He'd been pained, once again, and it was because of my own selfish actions. He was obliged now, to tell my father what I had done. I'd lose my right to the position if deemed mentally unstable, and those years of unbearable torment would have been for nothing. The lashings, both verbal and physical, would never cease. He'd beaten me within an inch of my life before, and I had no doubts that he would do it again. My mother wasn't here to protect me this time though... I could see him now, bloodlust mixing with that intense disappointment and disgust held only for me, as he would order the Turks elsewhere and beat me to his heart's content. I'd be better off dead...

"You should have... let me..." I choked.

"Let you what? Pull the trigger?"

"Yes..."

"Only if you had killed me first..."

"He'll kill me anyway... he'll kill me..."

I couldn't stop the flow of god forsaken tears, even as he pulled back from me and forced me to hold his gaze. He looked unlike I'd ever seen him before, as he clutched my shoulders. Usually so stoic, his face was drawn and deathly pale, and his eyes swirled with a miriad of emotion and mako. Anger was the first I recognised in the haze, accompanied by sorrow and relief. It took me a moment longer to read that deeper emotion. One I'd never seen on a Turk before. Fear.

"Who Rufus, who?" he urged. My mouth opened to speak, but I froze, as that very figure slipped into the room.

Tseng must have seen it in my eyes, felt it in the tensing of my shoulders, as he stood slowly and turned to face my father.

"President Shinra..."

"What's going on here, Tseng?" he asked icily.

My world was about to crumble and fall. Every loyalty the Turks held was with my father, and it was his duty as Turk commander to inform him of any mental health concerns within the company, regardless of status or position. I wiped viciously at my eyes and halted my tears, standing behind the Turk slowly, preparing myself for the immediate onslaught that would follow.

"Your son collapsed at his desk sir, and fell to the ground. I was helping him up and ensuring he was steady enough to move..."

No... it couldn't be... Tseng had lied to the most powerful man in the world, broken his Turk guidelines, gone against his own morals of truth, and it had been for me. My father then rounded his scrutinizing gaze on me.

"Then what are you crying for, boy?" He asked coldly, and I had never felt smaller in my life. I'm a coward... I am a god damned coward...

"If I may sir... I was intending to use smelling salts to bring him to, but I used the wrong chemical compound..." Tseng said quietly, pulling a half empty vial from his coat pocket and showing it to my father.

"Ah... Try not to make the same mistake again, Commander..."

"Of course not, sir..." Tseng replied smoothly, "I am terribly sorry..."

"Very well, no need to concern yourself too much. Rufus... I need to speak to you. Today. Be in my office at four pm, no later boy..."

"Yes, father..."

"Not a minute later boy..." He warned, the ice glittering within his eyes.

"Yes, father..."

He left then, and I dropped back onto my shaking knees. I felt hollow, broken, drained... What exactly had just happened?

Tseng lowered himself to his knees also, his gaze meeting mine once again.

"Why..."

"It will be a cold day in hell before that bastard ever harms you in my care."

"He's your boss, Tseng..."

"I belong to you now. I am no one else's."

He sounded so confident, so sure, and I envied him for it. I envied his optimism and surity that everything would be ok, and I envied the strength he held in mentioning it. I somehow managed to use some of his own strength in that gaze, and returned to my feet a second time, my eyes never leaving his.

"I ask _you_ now..." He said softly, standing up once again, "Why?"

I tore my eyes away in guilted shame.

"To help them... The Turks, my father, my mother, my employees, the future heir... you..."

"You're an idiot."

He said it flatly, and I could not deny shock at his response.

"...What?"

"The Turks, your employees, your mother, myself... How would it help? _You_ are our future ruler, and by simply by continuing to exist, you bring with you the hope for us all..."

"My father sa-"

"Fuck him. Fuck whatever bullshit he decides to inflict upon you. He is useless Rufus. _Useless_. You? You're so much more. You are Shinra's future, our future, the world's future, and I will forever hold you and all you represent in the highest regard. But not when you do things like this... Don't ever make me hate you Rufus, don't make me lose my hope..."

He looked away then, angered or possibly hurt, and he waited. He waited, as always, for me to tell him what to do. He waited for the guidance I provided and the orders I delivered. Perhaps he was not what he always seemed. I was surely right. I had always believed there to be a far gentler soul within that beautiful mind than what he showed. Perhaps he was as lost in an existance as I was, and was simply seeking another to accept that and seek help with. Yes Tseng. Only for you...

"You have my word, Tseng. Will you remain to assist me?"

"I planned on nothing but that, Vice President..."

I nodded then, attempting to clutch at the final shreds of my dignity I held, and straightened my suit. I built the walls of that facade as best as I could, and nodded once more in self assurance. It was time to play obediently loyal son, and my part required significant skill. My guard then reached out, fixing my tie, as his eyes smiled at me from a neutral face once again.

"Fit for a king..." he remarked, and I smirked.

"Best I go meet with him then."

"Perhaps you're right..." My guard nodded lightly, a smirk playing along his lips as he escorted me from the room, after slipping a discarded revolver into his coat pocket.

--

A/N: Did someone say Angst? No? Just me?

Oh, third last chapter this is. So much for no more than three, and only four. lol.

I just never want it to end. :(

I'll consider writing that sequel if you ask, but otherwise, Birth of the Phoenix is almost done. ;;

Reviews please? -


	4. Sacrifice

xD

Special thanks to amberblood, who is awesome. BUT, all you other reviewers are too. ILY all. xD

Anyway, On to the next chapter. Tseng again. Personally, A favourite chapter of mine, but God I hate myself for being so nasty to my poor little Rufus baby. ;;

I also had issues with shortening the big chunk of dialogue, but ya kinda need it. lol. Sorry!

**Warnings: Please refer to chapter One. **

_Chapter Four_

_As a Turk, there had been many incidents in my life where I questioned my work and the very principles we were forced to follow. There were many times when I questioned whether we were really forced at all, or we simply chose to say we were to make the guilt easier to deal with. Then, there were the days where I _knew _some things in this world were wrong but balanced with the right, and I made my decisions with no force at all. I am Tseng, Commander of the Turks, and a willing guardian to the most powerful man on the planet... There was nothing more._

**--**

I'd been a fool to let him go... He'd walked from the room with his head held high and his shoulders square, but something within me knew that he would not return the same. It had been several hours now, and I'd remained in our office, presuming it was where he would return to. The daylight had faded away some time ago, and the city had begun to achieve its ethereal glow of the night. He'd left such a long time ago, and with no word from him as the hours stretched on, my conscious began to fight back the bile building within my mouth. No... It was un-necessary worrying, and a Turk was trained to hold no fear. It was an un-necessary trail of thoughts, and a Turk was trained to remain clear headed and focused. Regardless of all I had been trained to do, the nausea I was feeling could only have stemmed from unfocused thoughts and fear. I was ashamed to admit to it. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket, and I whipped it out as fast as was humanly possible.

"Rufus?"

"Um... Commander Tseng?"

"Oh, Elena... I apologise. I thought you were the VP..."

"No need to apologise, sir. Is the Vice President ok?"

"Yes... What's wrong Elena?"

"I don't mean to alarm you sir, but the sensor we had installed in your room was activated about two minutes ago. Would you like us to check it out?"

My mind raced, reaching the one conclusion, and I shook my head, unable to remember that the gesture went unseen by the blonde on the other end of the line.

"No thank you... Elena... I know who it is."

"Have a good night then, sir."

"You too Elena, take care."

I moved as fast as I was able to to my quarters, with my body stuggling to meet the haste of my thoughts.

I opened the door slowly and found him there, propped up against the wall beside my door, and knelt to find him bleeding profusely as trails of twin silver fell from his eyes.

"Rufus..." I whispered, as he turned those eyes to meet my own gaze. They were void of all emotion, before he turned his head away.

"You shouldn't... look at me..."

"Shut up..." I murmured, pulling the mastered cure materia from my pocket. His eyes widened slightly, and he shook his head.

"No... He'll know it was you... and you'll be... He'll..." He choked, coughing slightly and staining his suit further with a spray of blood. I shook my head, telling him once again to shut up... that I didn't give a shit what he did to me... that I wasn't going to leave him to die... and he laughed. It was a cold and empty sound, and he turned a half hearted smile to me, his body shivering slightly.

"You should have let me... pull that trigger..."

He almost sneered then, but I cast the spell anyway, the green glow encasing his body in a blanketed cover, before being absorbed into his blood stream. He let out a sharp gasp of pain, before falling silent, his breathing levelling out. His eyes were sunken, and he had been on the brink of death before I'd cast the spell, but I saw the magic beginning to work its wonders. His cheeks filled and returned a somewhat healthier glow to them, as his eyes remained sunken, but lessened in their severity. I stood then, satisfied that he would not slip away within the immediate future, and ventured to my bathroom. My head was swimming with a combination of horrified guilt and consuming rage, and my hands were shaking so violently that I found it difficult to collect the materials I needed.

I was a Turk. I was a sharp shooter, a stealthy opponent, and a powerful enemy to countless amounts of people. My persona was based entirely on a cool composure and a steady hand, and at this moment, I held neither. Why? Why did I let him go?

I returned to find him in the same position as when I had left, although he was now attempting to remove his bloodied jacket. For many of the wounds he had received, a quick spell flood would do him no good in the long run. No... he needed a few good days of care and rest. If I were to heal him to his full potential immediately, his stamina would be severely affected for a long time to come.

"Rufus... what happened...?" I asked, and he laughed again. This laugh once again held no mirth or suggestion of anything that Rufus held. It seemed that he had finally broken, and the pieces left before me were all that remained...

"He tried to kill me... He tried to _kill _me Tseng..." He continued laughing, "And the bastard... Hypocritical fuck that he is... Couldn't even finish the job! Can you _believe_ that?"

"What happened?"

"Don't worry..."

"Rufus..."

"I said _don't_."

The last word was so full of force and authority that I merely nodded, accepting it as an order as I knelt by him once again with the bandages and Turk first aid kit that I'd salvaged, and began using the towel I had dampened to wipe away the blood on his face and neck. The swelling was severe, and although the cure spell had helped substantially, his skin was bruised from a pale white to a deep purple. He shook his head slightly, seemingly in disbelief, as he continued to fidget with his coat. I slipped a hand around his waist and lifted him from the wall, not looking up as I felt his breath on my cheeks.

I pulled the sleeves of his coat from his arms and began unbuttoning the long sleeved shirt that he wore underneath. His body was shaking again, and I took a chance in looking up. Pristine blue eyes were turned from mine as his tears fell silently, his shame apparent.

"Rufus..." I said softly, and he shook his head.

"I'm pathetic, Tseng. I am twenty years old and still under the iron rule of my father..."

"So is half of the world, Rufus. We're all waiting on you to make that change..." I stated, and he fell silent once again. He'd worn several layers today, and as my eyes settled on the deep cuts along his arms and chest, lying beneath perfectly in tact clothing, the realisation hit me that his father must have done this to him whilst he was topless...

"Rufus... what did he do to you?" I asked, firmly grabbing the blonde's chin to turn his face to meet mine, as his gaze turned away.

"Tseng..."

"Tell me what he did to you..." I said forcefully, his gaze finally meeting mine.

"No, Tseng..."

"Rufus..."

"No."

"...I'll watch the footage."

"There's no security camera in there specifically for that reason..."

I held back the bitterness that I was feeling rising within me. Shinra had specifically requested that no security camera be installed in his office, but I had held no idea why. He had made a fine mistake by treating 'his' Turks the way that he did. He only made us suspicious and resentful. It was about to come full circle. As soon as I had begun to have suspicions of his actions with Rufus, I had one installed without his knowledge... I began to bandage the broken blonde's wounds, barely able to comprehend my own actions. As I'd finished, I lifted him to stand, his arm around my shoulder and walked him to my bedroom. He was still shaking slightly, and his eyes were not rung only by bruises. He was likely to have difficulty sleeping tonight, not only from the physical pain, but the emotional burden.

"Rufus, I have footage from your father's room..." I said softly, and he looked up with wide eyes.

"There were no cameras..."

"We had them installed recently..."

After I got my suspicions about your father... I wanted to say it, but no...

"...You're going to watch it then..."

"Yes."

He nodded slowly, laying back on the sheets, still trembling slightly, as his eyes appeared hollow and vacant.

I turned on the television in my room that was connected to the company's security system and selected Shinra's office. He was sitting at his desk and casually reading the newspaper, as if nothing had happened in his office at all. I stopped the live footage and rewound the tape, selecting the moment that Rufus entered the room.

"You're late..." Shinra's voice echoed through the speakers, and Rufus sat bolt upright from his position on the bed.

"Rufus?" I queried, and the blonde looked at me with confusion.

"Sound?"

"Yes..."

"Tseng... please..."

"I'm going to watch it Rufus..."

He resigned, laying back down, his expression further pained. I continued watching, as Rufus nodded, approaching his father's desk.

"I apologise, I was held up..."

"Enough of the niceties. What kind of bullshit were you pulling with Scarlet?"

"I... lost control. I apologise..."

"Lost control? You nearly pulled the fucking trigger on one of my best workers!"

"It was... it was an honest mistake..."

That calm and powerful facade that Rufus always wore crumbled, showing the little boy before his father that he was now as he lay beside me.

"Rufus... You can not make these kinds of mistakes... You continually disappoint me..."

Shinra stood then, moving his way around the desk, as Rufus stood as still as he could. The President was still for a moment, before striking his son with the back of his hand.

"Don't stand there and smirk at me, boy..." He spat.

"... with all due respect, sir... I didn't realise I was smi-"

"Don't bullshit to me. You've had this coming for a long time..."

I continued to watch the images on the screen as Shinra slapped Rufus once again, hard enough to have the Vice President stumble slightly backwards.

"Hmmm... No, you're not worth it tonight... But... tell me boy... Tell me why you did it..."

"I lost control, father... I told you... I apologise..."

"I heard that it was for that piece of Wutain trash..." Shinra sneered, and my blood boiled slightly. What took me by surprise however, was Rufus' response...

"Don't you _dare_ speak about him like that..." the blonde said lowly, as Shinra himself was visibly shocked by the assertive response.

"It was, wasn't it?" the bastard laughed, "For fuck's sake, it was for the _Turk_..."

"...Yes."

"Pray do tell, why?"

"Scarlet was acting inappropriately... I responded out of anger..."

"Oh but they were all acting inappropriately, so Reeve states... So... what was it that set the little fucktard's head into overdrive?"

"She was distasteful..."

"Towards Tseng, wasn't it...?"

"Yes. And what she said was compl-"

Rufus tried to continue, but Shinra punched him this time, knocking him to the floor, before the Vice President coughed violently, doubling over on the ground.

"You piece of shit, Rufus... You disgust me..." Shinra hissed, "Get off the ground..."

Rufus tried, but was too winded, receiving a kick to the stomach as a punishment. He fell flat this time, and Shinra snorted.

"Take off your tops, boy..."

I thought that perhaps I had heard him wrong, but when Rufus slowly began taking off his jacket and shirts, I knew that I had been right after all... Shinra pulled a blade from his pocket and held it to the blonde's throat.

"Imagine that... a fag in my own bloodline... That's how it is, isn't it?" Shinra sneered, as Rufus visibly tensed from his position on the floor.

"I asked you a question, boy..." Shinra hissed, removing the knife from his son's throat and instead slashing it across his pale arm. Rufus let out a strangled cry, clutching at the fresh wound.

"Answer me!" Shinra hissed.

"Y-yes!" Rufus choked, as Shinra shook his head.

"You're a disgrace to this family, boy. You've shamed me for what you are. How is the lineage supposed to continue? Hey? Did you ever intend on having children?"

Rufus remained silent, another costly response, Shinra now slicing the boy's other arm. He cried out again, falling to the ground once more and writhing slightly, his blood seeping across the floor.

"Did you?!"

"...yes..." Rufus murmured, barely audible, "I didn't... choose..."

"Fuck that bullshit! You _always _choose! You're a Shinra for fuck's sake. I don't give a shit if you get these fucked up urges for a bit of guy action... you swamp them out and you get married to some dumbass bitch, and have heirs to the throne. I'm as straight as they come boy, and I still had to make that choice with that whore you call your mother."

"Don't talk... about my mother... like that..." Rufus hissed, coughing blood from his mouth.

Shinra grabbed the blonde's hair, pulling him up, and crashed Rufus' into his knee, a sickening crack resounding. It was becoming like a train accident. The site was a horrendous one, but my eyes could not turn away, my hands raising to my face to rest my head between them. I was vaguely aware of the blonde beside me, shaking slightly in real time, his soft gasps indicating continuing tears.

"I'm going to enjoy this Rufus... I'm going to enjoy watching you take that last breath of yours... I'm going to enjoy watching the life drain from your cheeks... I'm going to enjoy seeing that fucker's face when I tell him you've passed on... Will it kill him as much as it would kill you?"

"...Fuck... you..." Rufus spat, his blood droplets falling on the president's shoe. Shinra looked down in disgust, before stooping to toy the knife along the blonde's chest.

"I think that you're at your weakest right now..." Shinra smirked, before I watched him press the blade deeper, slowly dragging it along Rufus' skin. The blonde cried out, and yet tears were still not visible.

"Or are you? Maybe it's not you I should be hurting? Maybe there's a white knight you're expecting to burst through that door..." Shinra paused, "Maybe it would hurt you to hurt him?"

"...Don't you fucking _dare_..." Rufus hissed, trying in vain to push himself up.

"Well, depends on how willing you are to keep this... discussion... quiet. I'm willing to let you live if you can... I have little choice in the matter... I need an heir... Maybe you'll learn and change your filthy little ways..."

"I won't... change..."

"So your life doesn't matter, I get it..." Shinra shrugged, apparently bored, "But does his?"

Rufus remained silent, gradually moving into a sitting position, his wounds seeping continually. He was quiet for a long time, before he nodded slightly.

"...Yes..."

"Then be a good little fuck and go to your room... Let everyone see these marks. You can tell them whatever you like, as long as it's not the truth..." Shinra scoffed, kicking the Vice President in his still bleeding chest. Rufus fell back, as Shinra returned to his desk.

"Get out of my site. You're embarrassing..."

That was exactly what Rufus appeared to do, as he dragged himself to his feet and collected his clothes. Shinra called in his secretary then, who gasped at the scene, but said nothing.

"Clean this up..." The president ordered, as she gave a horrifed yet sympathetic gaze to Rufus as he passed her. She nodded fearfully then, and disappeared, returning a few moments later to begin scrubbing the floor. Shinra lit up a cigar and began smoking it then, as if his son had not been brutally beaten by his own hands only moments before. I turned then to fixate my eyes on the now dozing Rufus, tears still streaking his pale cheeks. How he slept, I would never know, and my only guess was that exhaustion had taken hold of him before he could fully rebel the onset of sleep. Why had he done this? Why had he spoken out when I had told him specifically that I had Shinra to thank for my welfare? It was the only reason I had not killed the bastard of a leader yet... But no... Nothing would stop me now... I stood then and took his bloodied clothes to my personal laundry chute. This went directly to Reno's apartment below mine, and he knew that whatever fell down that chute was not ever meant to be seen by the outside world. As a Turk, it was common to return from missions, blood stained with the DNA of an individual that Shinra desired to have no connection to. Reno had been roped in to the task of destroying any evidence the Turks may have that would jeopardise the company's reputation. This was one of them... But no, Reno would understand. This was not for the company, nor was it for the bastard who run it. This was for Rufus, and that meant that we would all go that extra mile, like we always had and always will... I dropped the clothes down the chute and closed the door.

I returned to find his eyes wide open once more, staring vacantly at the wall. He was seemingly not making terribly too much progress, and his shivering had intensified after his moment of rest... Probably as a result of shock...

"Rufus... how are you feeling?" I said softly, and his eyes flicked briefly to mine.

"I'm cold..."

I moved to his side and sat beside him. At first, we remained silent as I raised a knee up to my chest to rest against, lost within thought and pain. My own instinctual needs and desires however, ached for some form of intimacy to tell him... to let him know I was here... I lay down beside him, looping a hand around his waist and pulling him slowly to lie atop my chest as he let out a startled gasp. I readjusted both of our positions slightly so that my form had acted as a cushion for him, and he now lay draped across my body, his breath coming in short shallow gasps. It was then that I realised that what I had presumed to be gasps were short sobs. I pulled his head to my heartbeat, something that I knew comforted even the most broken of men, and his breathing soon slowed as my fingers ran loosely through blond locks.

He was still, his skin close to burning to touch, and he raised his head slowly, his eyes meeting mine. He held them for a long moment, before we both reached a small understanding of sorts, and my heart skipped a beat. He lay his head back against my chest and raised his left hand to encircle my neck, as his right thread its fingers through my own. This... We both knew now... This entire time I had longed for this individual cradled in my embrace, he had felt some sort of emotion for me that I had left uncomprehended... But no, not tonight... We both knew that tonight was not the time for admissions...

"Tseng..."

"...Yes?"

"Don't kill him..." He said softly, a plea within his voice, "Please... Not yet..."

"I won't..." I replied, and his fingers strayed slightly to brush lightly through my hair. He was quiet for some time then, and I thought he had drifted off, until his voice wavered.

"Tseng..."

"...Rufus?"

"How long have you..."

"Longer than even I know..."

"Why?"

"Not tonight, Rufus. You need rest."

He nuzzled my chest slightly and let out a remnant of a soft sob. I moved my arms to drape over him and pulled him as close as I could, and he murmured my name sleepily against my skin.

This... This was perfection... In every fucked up sense of our tormented lives, this moment of vulnerability and raw emotion... Perfection...

It took him only a short time to fall asleep after that, and when the knock resounded at my door, I knew already who it would be. Footsteps resounded along the tiles outside, before my own door received a knock.

"Come in..."

Reno flung the door open, closing it swiflty behind him and turning to face the situation. Hie eys widened in panic, and I shook my head.

"He's just asleep..." I reassured, and he let out a soft sigh of relief.

"I'm going to kill him, Tseng... I'm going to kill him..." Reno almost hissed through his teeth, his eyes raking along the many bandages on the blonde's body, as he approached and ran a feather soft touch along the blonde's forehead.

"No. We can't."

"Bullshit! This has to have been going on for awhile. I've had my suspicions, and I _knew _that today... Everyone had been talking about it, and the bastard was so _angry_ that I just... I just..." Reno fumbled for the words, but I shook my head, careful as to not wake Rufus.

"He does not wish for him to be killed..." I whispered, and Reno watched me with a growing understanding. He stepped backwards, falling back to lean against the door, shaking his head slowly.

"All this time I thought he had no one but me, you know? It's kind of..." Reno shrugged slightly, "Relieving..."

"How so?"

"If he's got something in here..." The redhead explained, raising his own hand to his chest and tapping it, "We've all still got a chance, you know?"

He looked at the blonde cradled in my arms for some time, his face a miriad of facial expressions.

"He's like family to me..." He said quietly, raising defiant eyes to meet my own, "So you gotta promise me... _promise _me..."

"Promise you what?"

"Promise me that you're not going to leave him anytime soon. Swear that you're not gonna go into Rambo mode on a mission and wind up getting yourself killed, you're not gonna decide that you haven't got a heart and leave him in the middle of the night, and for fuck's sake, you're not going to change your mind now when he's hit the bottom..."

I shook my head, and mused slightly at the clenching of his fists and jaw.

"I can't guarantee I won't be killed, you know that..." I said softly, "But I can assure you that I have been waiting for too long to give up now."

The redhead gaped slightly, mouth moving wordlessly, before resigning. He smirked slightly, albeit a little forcefully, before leaning back against the door once more.

"Holy shit, you were both blind... Here I was thinking it was just you that didn't see his fawning, but I guess it was him too..." the redhead shrugged, and I felt a little awkward, despite his obvious acceptance towards the situation.

"I was under the impression that perhaps you showed inter-"

"Whoaaa... Stop there..." The redhead snorted, "You gotta be shitting me? No boss man, just can't swing that way. Got no problems with those that do, but I'm a lad for the ladies..."

I wouldn't lie. The admission had been somewhat of a relief. Just as Reno saw Rufus as family, I saw him as mine, and so was reluctant to take any action that may result in ill blood so to speak... We sat in silence for sometime, as the blonde's chest rose and fell with every breath he took, his body moving slightly every now and then to resettle himself against my own. Reno was staring vacantly at a spot on the floor a few metres from his feet, and he was clearly trying his best to contain his rage.

"Reno..."

"Mother fucker! What kind of sick bastard could treat another human being like that, let alone his own blood?" the redhead hissed, and I remained silent. As was the usual in regards to Shinra, I had no answer to offer. I opened my mouth to offer some kind of reassurance, but froze when another knock resounded at my front door. It was much more demanding and persistent than the knock Reno had provided, and I knew...

Reno's eyes flicked to mine, and showed the same amount of initiative that I did. I brushed the hair from Rufus' face then, and collected the tear droplets still staining his cheeks. Gods, he was beautiful. To see him in such a state of ease and rest reassured me further of the movement I was about to take. I leant forward, the temptation too great, and pressed my lips lightly against his. He leant subconsciously in, but I pulled back, my eyes turning to Reno's once more.

"Let him stay here the night. Make sure that you lock the door once I've left, and for God's sake make sure that you stay with him the entire time..." I said quietly, and the redhead gaped.

"You're bullshitting me... You're gonna stand by and let this all happen?" he spat, and I nodded slowly, pulling on my gloves and letting my gaze linger on the blonde for a few moments. At least now... At least he knew.

"What the fuck did you just say huh? What was all that shit before for?" Reno hissed, his anger boiling over as he swung to hit me. He underestimated my skill, or over-estimated his, however, as I caught his fist and easily flipped him. He appeared slightly winded however, as he glared up at me from the ground.

"If they know he's here and they know that we know... They'll kill him... If I go supposedly unaware, they'll merely take me and he will be spared..." I said softly, "So shut up and lock the fucking door..."

The redhead's face seemed to reach a dawn of realisation, and he nodded solemnly.

"Tseng..." He said unusually softly for him as I opened the door, "Come back alive, yo..."

I nodded and headed for the front door, where the pounding continued.

I opened the door to several SOLDIER members, apparently reluctant in addressing me.

"Commander Tseng... We've been ordered to take you to the president..." the largest of the group said forcefully.

"May I request a reason as to why there are five of you required to do that?"

"We were warned that you may not come willingly, and if need be, to take you by force..." the SOLDIER explained. Second class by the looks of it... all of them were... That was a somewhat clever move made on behalf of the president. Sephiroth need not be told about second class activities... Only his first class SOLDIERs were required to report directly to him and follow his orders only. I was almost certain that if Sephiroth _had_ known of this, he would not have approved...

"I don't see why I would have reason to resist?" I said quietly, my capabilities of masking truth working flawlessly, as the SOLDIERs nodded between eachother.

"Have you been in contact with the Vice President, sir?"

"He has yet to return from his father's office. Is it possible to return to my office for a few minutes? Perhaps it would be wise to leave a note..." I said flatly, and the leader of the group shook his head.

"We're to take you directly to the president sir."

"It is my duty as a Turk to protect the best interests of the Shinra family. If the Vice President were to return to our office and find me absent with no idea of my whereabouts, he would surely worry. I insist you allow me this small favour, and I will come willingly..." I stated, "As I am starting to feel as if there is something amiss here, and I am growing increasingly edgy because of the tone you are choosing to use..."

"...If we don't take you to your office?"

"I can make your role in this task considerably more difficult... I did not make Turk Commander lightly, I assure you..." I said, allowing a trace of ice to lick at my words, as the SOLDIER held my gaze defiantly. He broke contact first, however. They always did.

"Five minutes..." He murmured, and I nodded. That was plenty...

--

**A/N:** -grabs her Rufus plushie- Oh I'm so sorry! -petsandsnugglesandmeows-

Not THE best chapter of this story, but the second last just the same. lol. I don't mind it, really. Just got a little too soppy for my own liking. Muahah.

Poor Tseng as well! I feel like such a bitch! -squishies her plushies- ILY boys! I'll make sure to hook you up next chapter. -pets-


	5. Release

This chapter's for Lysiaamazon and Aldalena, who are both insanely awesome. lol. :D TY TY TY TY! -glomps-

Added note to Aldalena: I had a review cut off too! -gasp- We'll get fanfic, I swear it. :P

All you reviewers are! xD

**Warnings: **.... o.o ... Um... I DON'T FREAKING KNOW! The lemon's not as awesome as it could be? -shrugs-

_Birth of The Phoenix - Chapter Five_

_I am Rufus Shinra, heir to the throne of the planet. I've crashed, I've burned, and I'd been pulled from depths that even I could not comprehend. Perhaps what they say of phoenix's hold some merit, in that no matter how fierce the fire burns, they are able to salvage their lives and rekindle themselves from the very ashes they had intended to bury themselves in._

--

I stared down at the folded note on my desk and my stomach willed me not to read it. Tseng, in all the time he had worked for me... worked _with _me... had never been late. Today, he was yet to be seen, and a note with my name in such delicate handwriting was perched upon my desk...

He'd left...

Last night he had held me so gently, healed me so _lovingly_... and now he'd fled... My head spun slightly with an overwhelming miriad of emotions that even I was unable to hold a grasp over. Instead, I leant forward on my desk and grasped the mahogany so tightly that my fingernails began to bend under the pressure, and the pain shot in bursts up my arms. I can't understand how it is possible to feel pain when the world is falling... breaking around you... I shook slightly before sitting gingerly in my seat. My wounds still ached with every movement, and I had asked Elena's assistance this morning in concealing my marks. I went to her each time, and she never once asked how my pale skin had become so battered. She would wordlessly apply the foundation required to conceal the blemishes of my family life, and her eyes would cry out to me in a silent plea to deny that it was what she thought, what she feared, and naturally, what it was. I never gave it to her, and she spoke of it to no one. I knew she didn't, because she was the type to wear her heart openly on her sleeve, and I loved her for it. Reno knew also, for that I am sure, and perhaps it was further confirmed this morning when I awoke to find him in my apartment. How he had entered, I was not sure, but he was there, and he had left as silently as he had arrived after realising I had awoken. Yet, he too said nothing, and I loved him for that also. My Turks. A lifeblood, an unstoppable force, a chain of command and logic and sharp intelligence completely at my command. As far as I was concerned however, their importance lay further, in being the only true family that I could hold dear to me. As loyal as the dogs of war they were, they would never leave me. They would love me and cherish me for all that I was, and the vision that I held for their futures.

Then why, _why_ was the only one who surpassed them all in what I had sacrificed, no longer willing to be by my side? Perhaps the others knew that his loyalties lay with my father, as I had always feared, and they had simply neglected to inform me. Perhaps in an ideal world, he really had felt for me as I did for him, and he had simply left in fear. Ideal world... ha... How can such a bitter and painful situation possibly offer any remnants of ideality? I could answer my own question however... Because in my circumstance, regardless of Tseng's, he was gone... Even if I forced every shred of effort I held into building a poisonous and consuming bitterness, that solitary fact would remain. He was gone. But, in such a situation, perhaps I clung to the hope that he had cared enough to looj out for me as he did, and simply left me for fear of hurt... of pain... I was a timebomb, for that I was certain, as I knew that those around me would undoubtedly fall, the longer their footsteps fell in my shadows. A knock resounded at my door then, as one of my underdogs themselves stepped onto the threshold. Reno's fiery locks, though usually wild and untamed, were moreso than usual. The darkness that hovered beneath his eyes on so many occassions were significantly defined this morning, and lead me to believe that whatever sleep he had achieved, if any, had not been pleasant.

"Reno..."

"Good morning, sir. I brought you your latte, yo..." Reno said quietly, before placing my mug upon my desk, his eyes pointedly avoiding mine. Then, in a fleeting moment, his gaze met mine with a raw intensity that shook me to the core. In typical Turk style, he had seemingly seen through the barricade I had so recently erected, and so lead me to believe that he knew...

"Where, Reno?"

"I don't underst-"

"Where?!" I snapped, perhaps a little too coldly for my own liking, "Where did he fuck off to? You know all, don't you red?"

Reno's eyes flared angrily, and for once in my life, I had paid no heed to boundaries as I took a leap and bound across the unspoken one that Reno had set.

"How could he leave me so freely? I _own_ him. He's _mine_. He might be a piece of trash, but it's my trash can that he dragged his sorry ass out of..." I spat, as my own words reverberated in my ears, barely making sense even to myself, "Well? Answer me! Do you understand?!"

The redhead stepped forward, and I had little to no time to react, as his fist connected firmly with my cheek. I nearly fell from my chair, only managing to remain upright by clinging to my desk. I raised my eyes then to meet Reno's, and found the cerulean blue glaring intently. He remained still and silent for a few moments, seemingly catching his words in his throat.

"Don't you _ever_ speak of him like that..._ Ever_... Do _you_ understand, you selfish little bastard?" Reno hissed, as his own fingernails began to press into the polished wood's surface. I had apparently hit a sore nerve of the redhead's, and it did little more in my current state than unsettle me...

"I don't even want to _think_ about what he might be going through for the sake of you, yo..." He said coldly, before turning and heading for the door once again. He paused as he reached it however, and turned to face me.

"You're not the only one keeping secrets, Goldilocks... Seems like the whole Shinra empire has a lot to hide..." He said flatly, leaving as quickly and as quietly as he had come.

I raised a finger to my lip and realised that I had indeed split it open when Reno had punched me. If the dull ache in my jaw was any indication, he damn near had dislocated it also. Even through the ringing pain, I felt a sense of pride that my Turk, my brother, had such a highly tuned weapon within his own body. But... what had he meant? What was it that had been kept secret from me? But perhaps it hadn't...

My fingers edged towards the letter, and I opened it slowly.

_Rufus,_

_I sincerely hope that you hold no concern in your thoughts for me like those I held for you upon leaving. Because of this, I have chosen not to tell you of my whereabouts. In truth, I can not tell you also because I am not entirely sure where I will be myself... Estimated guesses can hold only so much truth... I can only hope within myself that you will not hear anything within the coming days, perhaps even longer, that may reflect a negative message of my welfare..._

_Rufus... there is much that I intended to share... I am unable to assure that it is possible however... There is a tea blend within my desk drawers that shall assist in your swift recovery. For my sake, I can only hope that your recovery is exactly that... swift... _

_Rufus... for my sake also, I ask that you consider these words thoroughly- you are not your father. You never will be, and you never can be. For that, I am eternally grateful, for your father is a bitter and demented individual. He is not one to be regarded highly, nor is he deserving of the love he so openly demands. He holds no prospect, or prosperity, and it is in my belief that his poisonous actions will become his own demise. You Rufus... You are. You are capable of achieving the highest of achievements, and many more that are yet to be unearthed by you. For that, you will always have my everything. My complete devotion as your Turk and as your guard, my complete loyalty as your friend, and my thoughts, my wishes and my heart as the person who held you in the highest regard above everything. I only wish that it was a certainty to tell you this in person, but I make no guarantees. I apologise, and emplore you not to mourn a loss that may not have yet occured._

_Rufus, take care._

_With my love,_

_Tseng._

I fell back into my chair and rested my elbows on the desk, my head cradled within my palms. It was difficult to determine when the tears of biterness and consuming anger began to fall, and even harder to envision them ever stopping. Tseng had crashed into my life head strong, and had effectively broken me down to the shell I was as I shuddered with sobs against my own desk. I don't think I even knew what I was crying about... what I was crying _for_... it had somehow ended up being the final straw in a long line of emotional bruising that had finally surfaced. I was like.. a glass... the more you filled me up with soda, the more you were able to see the contrast with what that glass was _meant_ to look like, and everything that was beginning to foam and rise within it... Until eventually, the soda filled up the glass and there was no where left for it to hide...

A heavier burden settled then, my logic finally managing to break the chains restricting it, as the realisation struck me hard that perhaps Tseng was as loyal as he had ever been...

_"You're not the only one keeping secrets, Goldilocks... Seems like the whole Shinra empire has a lot to hide..."_

The whole empire... My father...

My head continued spinning, even as the world around me stopped...

--

Two tortuous days, with no word, no signs... nothing... It appeared that none of the Turks had remained oblivious to the lack of their leader, and any reassurances my father offered to them were quickly doused by Reno's explanations shortly after. Shinra was a fool. Blood runs thicker than water, and the Turks were my family. Whatever he intended to offer as an explanation was nothing more than the watered down ramblings of an outsider. He was no father of mine, and he was no leader to my Turks.

"Reno..." I said flatly, as the redhead slipped into the room un-announced.

"Yes sir?" He replied just as evenly, his eyes dull and lacking their flair of hope and enthusiasm. Tseng _made_ the Turks...

"What do you think they're doing to him?"

"Rufus..."

"I sit here and pretend to every one else that things are running well, when all I can find myself thinking of is-"

"Rufus."

This time it was a little firmer, a little more forceful. I met his gaze once again, and expected to be greeted with the fire I had become so accustomed to receiving with every notion of self loathing, or the mourning of a name neither of us dare mention. Instead, his expression was soft and understanding as he slowly sunk into the chair across from mine.

"Don't you dare give up on the thought of him now..." He said slowly, and it was evident how far gone his body was with fatigue. I was a little concerned with how thin the redhead had become within the space of a mere few days, and his skin had begun to pale significantly. We needed our Turk.

"Never..." I reassured softly, and the redhead nodded, taking a swig of the coffee he had just set upon my desk, before leaving without another word.

--

The enemy himself was staring back at me as I adjusted my tie in the mirror. I tried desperately to reassure myself that there was nothing I could do, and nothing I could have done. If I made any form of action, they would be sure that he had come to me, and anything and everything he had suffered would have been for nothing. Reno had entered my office last night and had sat me down on the sofa I'd had put in only a few hours before. He'd simply sat beside me and told me everything. He told me of the motions of that night... How Tseng had disappeared, _why_ he had disappeared, and the steps that Reno himself was now expected to take... There were suggestions of a coup d'état instigated by the Turks, with Reno himself as their leader. The redhead had disagreed however, as their beliefs remained that the system's strength lay in time. In effect, once I had reached the status of president, their concerns would be abolished. The agreement of the assassination of Shinra had been reached, and yet the approval could not been granted by the one person who had the authority below my father... Tseng himself. I understood now. The Turks had never been mine. They had been my family, my brethren, my lifeforce... but they belonged to one man and one man alone. Tseng. He was to be compared to a godfather, where no one within the family were to step out of line without suffering the adequate consequence. It remained something of little concern however, as the commander was respected far too much to even provoke an uprising. In effect however... I _did_ own them, for I owned Tseng...

My musings were interrupted, as Reno slipped in once again un-announced. His appearance was different from each and every time his pale form had flitted into view these past few days. The shadows that had so mercilessly lurked within his eyes had disappeared, and there was a glint of... hope...

"Reno..."

"I can't say a lot, yo... but... he's alive..." He said simply, and with that, he offered a fleeting smile, before disappearing once again. There was nothing left to do but wait.

--

It was all I could do to simply concentrate on the task at hand. Reno had not been seen for the entirity of the day, and there had been murmured concerns that a mass desertion was coming into play. No, this couldn't happen... I narrowed my eyes on the sheets of paperwork before me, as the all too familiar thought of a piercing brown gaze and ebony locks haunted my consciousness. I reclined when the realisation struck that work was a hopeless cause. My eyes fluttered closed as my hands were placed behind my head, a position I had found increasingly fitting when my mind threatened to engulf me in the thoughts I dared not to voice.

"What would you have me do?" I murmured, as I pinched the bridge of my nose, my free hand idly resting atop the pile of complications that was the paperwork before me.

"Preferably not work yourself to death..." Came the reply, as my eyes snapped open of their own accord, and fixated on the figure who had silently slipped through my office door. I said nothing, and he smiled slightly, although his face was darkened with bruising and fatigue. I stood then, and he shook his head.

"You've lost weight..." He murmured, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Apparently, so have you..."

He seemed amused by this, as his lips curled up slightly more. My head, my heart, my lungs... they were all over the place as the figure before me nodded slightly. He was alive. He was alive and he was standing with all of his beauty before me, like I had prayed to Gaia that he would... I moved to stand before my desk, and he remained where he was, as if we were currently in a stand off that neither one of us was intending on winning.

"You're an idiot..." I murmured, and he shook his head.

"No, I am a fool. A fool, but not an idiot..."

"I see no difference."

"I took the most beneficial decision that was offered to me, and I hold no regrets. My decision has kept us alive, so I am no idiot..."

"Then how is it that you are a fool?"

"I became a protector above a guard..." he said softly.

It was a simple statement, and yet the meaning behind it reverberated through me in a way that I myself was uncertain of. Had I have been paying more attention, perhaps I would have noticed the droplets of blood dripping onto the office carpet sooner, but it had been then that they were drawn to my attention. He followed my gaze then to his abdomen, where a red patch was beginning to soak through his dress shirt. He smirked slightly and shook his head.

"Tseng... what happened...?" I said softly.

"Apparently Reno misjudged his skills as a fine needlework craftsman..." Tseng said with mild amusement as he unbuttoned his shirt to inspect the burst stitches across his abdomen. Perhaps he knew, that by providing me with that answer rather than the truth, he had once again protected me from the world that I had come to accept as a cruel reality...

I moved towards him then and he gave me a curious gaze, before I reached out and placed tentative fingers over the stitchwork. My eyes then raked over the torso scattered with small scars and fresh disformations. My mind reeled with the possibilities of what may have caused such a wound. The sharp blade of a knife reached my mind all too quickly, and the thought burned a trail of hate towards the man that I had once called my father... My skin was far too pale, easily attaining the crimson colour of the blood that I had just brushed, before slightly darker fingers encircled my own and pulled them from the wound. My eyes lifted then, and met the burning intensity of the dark brown that had ensnared me from the word go... I hadn't realised just how close he was, until he let out a small laugh, and the breath from the gesture curled across my skin.

"You think too much..." He said softly, and I shook my head, my eyes never leaving his.

"I owe too much..." I replied, and his brow creased slightly. I pulled my fingers from his and replaced them against the wound.

"Why haven't you healed it?" I asked curiously.

"I don't have my materia, and I am one of only five who are permitted to heal using magic within this building..." He explained softly, before I recalled the glowing green orb that was nestled in my coat pocket. I pulled it out and he smirked slightly.

"You are _not _one of those five, Rufus..."

"I don't care..." I replied stubbornly, kneeling then to focus my attention on the wound. It really was quite violent in appearance, and I gently traced a pattern along his skin with my fingers. I turned my gaze upwards to meet his, and... I was a fool... I was instantly snared in that gaze as per usual and silently offered every thought and apology I could with my gaze. This would be a regret I would never atone for.

"Does it hurt?" I asked gently, before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss against his skin. His muscles quivered slightly, as his eyes flared momentarily.

"...No..." He assured, before I cast the spell required and returned the orb to my pocket. The skin gradually began to knit itself, as my fingers continued tracing patterns through what had previously been a fine piece of stitching.

"... Are you sure?" I asked, my lips acting of their own accord as they trailed a path along his stomach, my eyes still holding his. He raised a tentative hand then to cradle my cheek in his palms, before sliding fingers into my hair.

"I am sure of very little in this current moment, Rufus..." he murmured, as my last kiss lingered slightly over his navel. This beauty, this unguarded hunger and emotion and _need_... it was almost intoxicating to see it flare so openly through his gaze, and it was quickly becoming the object of my own undoing.

"...Rufus..." He said a little throatily, as his fingers moved to brush along my cheekbones again, his gaze increasing its intensity, as he gently coaxed me to stand. The anticipation was a hard one to quash, as his fingers continued to leave feather soft tendrils of pleasure along my skin.

"...Yes?" I said gently, perhaps a little too breathless in its release.

"I need to be sure that you are safe... that you are happy..." He murmured, as my eyes must have portrayed my confusion.

"Simply put, I intend to remain with you for as long as you intend to have me here..." he explained, "And further..."

He moved the hand that was not brushing along my cheek to loop around my waist and pull me slightly closer to him. It was insanity in every sense of the word as my skin tingled with his touch and my mouth moved of its own accord.

"I think I love you..." I murmured in response, before he leant forward, his lips swiftly capturing mine as my breath caught in my throat. So long, so unbearably long, the temptation had remained out of grasp... out of limits... and now it had become so very real... I may have moaned slightly as my lips parted to allow him access to my mouth in its entirity, but my mind was so intensely clouded with a lust fuelled haze that I could not have guaranteed anything beyond my attempts to grasp that this was _real_.

He was delicious... His smell, his taste... His touch, as he slid slightly calloused hands beneath my shirt and trailed along my own stomach... I was so deeply enraptured in the moment that I had barely anytime to register myself being carried to the sofa and being layed gently across its cushions, before Tseng was hovering above me, his arms supporting him from either side of my chest. He pulled back from my mouth with a few short nips at my bottom lip, before gazing at me with a question that I knew all too well.

"...Please..." I said simply, before he dipped down to my lips once again, his body covering mine as his fingers began to work on my shirt. As he peeled it off of my skin, his lips then latched onto my collarbone and sucked lightly. I choked out a gasp as I could have sworn his lips smirked against my skin, a light moan issuing from somewhere within his throat. His fingers trailed along my waist and chest as his fingers ran trails along my lightly defined muscles and settled on my hips. Oh Shiva... everything was hypersensitive, and I couldn't help but need release... but this, this was tortured bliss... I worked with nimble fingers on his own shirt as he continued to offer administrations to my neck and shoulders, before trailing my own fingers along the tight skin and texture that I found there. I dragged my nails slightly across his chest, and he pulled back slightly, his eyes flaring deviously. He straddled me slightly then, as if a signal of appreciation and I choked back a moan from escaping. He seemed to notice this and 'hmm'd in what was apparently satisfaction.

As I would find, Tseng seemingly found an immense pleasure in merely pleasuring me, as he offered appreciative noises with every gasp spilt from my lips. Heat was rapidly radiating through our bodies as I writhed albeit a little impatiently beneath him, and he took the hint flawlessly. He pulled back from my lips, and I took in the moment to soak in the dishevled appearance of the God before me. Gaia, so beautiful... I needed him... now. I grabbed his hand with my own and pulled three of his fingers into my mouth, laving at them as his eyes damn near glowed. His lips parted slightly, and yet his gaze never left mine as I bobbed my head slowly, making slight implications that caused his breathing to quicken slightly and my own to almost cease. I paused then, no longer guiding his fingers with my hand, and slid my fingers to unclasp the buckle of my belt and pants. I slid them out from underneath the pair of us and discarded them on the floor, for once not caring of creases or anything so trivial. His eyes travelled down my skin, as his fingers lightly toyed with the hem of my boxer shorts, my tongue continuing the preparation of his fingers. He slid the last article of clothing I had off of my legs, and the pure hunger lying within his eyes sent a shiver down my spine. Not a single soul had appreciated me like his eyes were now, and the pleasure was intense. All was disregarded however, as his fingers slid out of my mouth, and he slowly eased the first into my entrance. I hissed slightly, although expecting the pain, and he leant forward, his hair encasing us in a private meeting of lips and mouths, as his fingers continued to work within my body. Tortured bliss. It was a mantra repeating in my mind as a second finger entered, both brushing along a spot within my confines that made me writhe in pleasure and gasp into Tseng's mouth. He repeated the action several times, as I felt my body easing rapidly into the treatment it was receiving. Tseng was seemingly losing composure as he struggled with his pants, removing them hurriedly and discarding them onto the floor. He removed his fingers swiftly, and it was little warning before he'd pressed his own length inside me. I stilled, as did he, and my fingers dug deeply into his shoulder blades. He kissed me slowly then, apologetically, as he raised his hand to run through my sweat laced hair. We remained in that position until it became unbearingly... too... much...

"Move..." I whispered urgently, "Please..."

He gladly complied, and with his first thrust, my eyes burned with an indescribable ecstasy... His aim was seemingly non restricted to work, as he mercilessly hit what I came to realise was my prostate, encouraging a series of throaty gasps and whispered endearments. He eased up slightly, a slow rhythm gradually building as the sweat on our bodies mingled, and the limbs between us were unable to be determined between the individual. As his body resigned to the building pleasure, he did what no Turk had ever done in my presence, and subconsciously offered his throat. I did what any sane man would and worked my mouth into leaving a mark that would surely avoid the mako in his system, and last for days. He gave another stifled gasp as I bit down, and my mind spun once again, this time with a heightening desire and longing that I had cradled within me for too long. Tseng's thrusts became more urgent as I cried out his name against his shoulder blade, the friction from his stomach encouraging my release between us. Upon hearing my lips spill his name, he leant down and roughly drew my lips into a blistering kiss. As I continued to spasm with bliss, he threw his head back and gave a throaty moan, a warmness seeping into me as he released his seed in orgasm. I had not expected it to last long. The temptations and longing the pair of us had held so guarded had been released in the shortest path possible. As Tseng's body fell atop mine, his breathing coming out in pants as his hands still threaded through my hair, I realised that perhaps it hadn't needed to last forever to count for something... After a few moments, his head raised so that his eyes may meet mine and there was nothing there but an unguarded affection.

"...I love you too, Rufus..." He murmured, before lazily dipping down to capture my lips once more with his, and increasing the high I was already feeling at those softly murmured words...

--

I swirled the contents of my glass absent mindedly. I had done that which I needed to do for that day, and was now able to gaze freely out at the city that would someday be mine. The sun had remained in the sky for longer than was normal, signifying the approach of summer and the heat that would undoubtedly come with it. I didn't move, as I heard the soft sounds of footsteps approaching me from behind. A figure stood behind me now, slightly to my left, as I held out the glass. He took it, his fingers curling delicately around the outer rim, and he let out a soft 'hmph'.

"You've come to tell me that I missed lunch again, haven't you?" I smirked, as he turned and placed the glass on my nearby desk.

"Perhaps it could be counted as an early dinner, sir..." He replied coyly, as I closed my eyes briefly in amusement. He loved playing this game...

"What have I said about calling me that?" I said, feigning annoyance.

"I apologise Rufus..." He replied, smirk evident, as he moved once again to my side and ran a threaded a hand through my hair. I admittedly leant into the touch, and he smiled slightly from the corner of my eyes.

"Aristocrats?"

"I say La Mirage... Aristocrats has become a known area that you attend, Vice President..."

"I want sushi..." I insisted.

"Even if you do that, you can't always get what you want..." Tseng retorted then, before I turned and grabbed the front of his collar.

"I think you're wrong..." I smirked, before leaning forward and capturing his lips between mine.

--

_Yes, I am Rufus Shinra, and I __always__ get what I want._

--

**A/N:** Holy cow, my first completed multi-chapter. Secretly, I love the fact that it was Birth of the Phoenix that got the title. :)

Tseng finally got his 'collarbone wish' so to speak. xD

ANYWAY, Just wanted to point out that for every story I write, I make a summary kind of thing for not only my own reference, but anyone who is interested. It basically highlights main ideas, character intentions, original ideas etc. Anyone who wants a copy, let me know, and we'll talk. lol. It's no extra hassle, considering I do them anyway, I'm just that weird. :P

BTW, ya wanna sequel? Lemme know. lol.


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